I am afraid

I am afraid I’m an ampersand

an ellipsis maybe

a hyphen or dash

I am afraid I won’t die in my sleep

I am afraid someone near me will die

and I will sound like Camus when I speak

Mother died

on Thursday I think

I am afraid I am nothing but snow

I am afraid I’m a door that won’t close

I am afraid of words like deed

mortgage and escrow

I am afraid at how little I know

I am afraid of free white men

I am afraid of colors like yellow

I am afraid to write thank you notes

I am afraid that I’m only a dot

I am more afraid that I’m not.