I'm embarrassed that I know this

Me: Did you know that onions get their flavor from the sulphur they absorb in soil? When you start cutting them, the sulphur and other compounds get sprayed into the air, mix with the water in your eyes, and become sulfuric acid. That's why you cry...

Roommate: *sniff* Thanks, that really helps make it all better. Now shut up and go away.


While I can't admit to being a gushing fountain of knowledge and information, this is rather the way my mind works as well. I remember multitudes of all these (generally useless) little tidbits that I pick up from the most random of places, whether that be television, magazines, or most often a dictionary or encyclopedia I happen to be thumbing through looking for something else entirely. Distractions abound, as it were. I might eventually find what I'm really looking for.

I often delight in spewing forth things I know whenever something in particular seems relevent, or when it'd be annoyingly witty, as that's even more fun. Other times I just toss things on the table at random, usually during a quiet point in conversation, just for the entertainment value of having it there. Either way, I tend to get funny looks and/or a snide-sounding "I didn't know that.." or two. That would be why I'm embarassed that I know this. At least, sometimes I'm embarassed. I suppose it could also depend on what little nugget of information I'm sharing at the time. Some are quite embarassing just for their content...

However, embarassment or not, it's certainly a source of entertainment for me during very slow points. I've rather gotten to enjoy the blank stares and other reactions I get from people when I pull something out of the hat of trivia that is my mind. It's actually gotten to the point that sometimes I actually search for more trivia to gather up, or purposely make a mental note to remember something particularly juicy. One of these days I'll spring it on some unsuspecting victim, and watch them cringe. It's the little things in life you truly enjoy...

Now, if I could only remember the important things with such success, like my birthday...

Knowing questionably useless things can render some pretty funny moments sometimes... My grandfather used to work on the Brazilian Navy's Library in Rio de Janeiro, thus he used to read a lot on his free time. He used to listen to a radio station that keeps track of the time of day -- all day long -- while he was getting ready for work. I think you can imagine how boring it would be to have a radio station broadcasting "sixteen hours... twenty minutes... ten seconds... beep" and so on during the day. So the radio's solution was to broadcast small newscasts and lots of trivia between the time marks...

So one day, during a family dinner, absolutely out of the blue he says:

- Did you people know that an adult blue whale's tongue weighs nearly four tons?

And the whole table cracked with laughter and disbelief! They said stuff like "isn't that a bit too heavy? Come on, stop exaggerating" and blah blah blah. He had no choice but to stay quiet. Months later, my dad found a book on sea creatures... and he confirmed that info. That darned four-ton blue whale tongue trivia was right!

You see, he was right. But was it worth it? I still think one man's trash is another man's treasure, even when it comes to information, useless or otherwise... but there's no other way to find out, is there?