We learned this song at swimming instruction. It is meant to bring the singers gradually deeper into the water until they are eaten ready for their lesson.

As you sing each verse, you go that far into the water. Thus, the 'boa' progressively encircles you, and you go ever deeper into the pool, until glub you're all the way in.

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
And I don't like it at all!

In between the chorus come the lines as given below, with the optional verses "Oh my, it's up to my thigh" between knee and middle, and "Oh darn, it's up to my arms!" after the middle, but before the neck.

Of course, tucked right in beside this in my memory of swimming lessons is "The wheels on the bus go round and round" which must have some deep trauma associated with it, because I shudder even to think about it tangentally.

The classic verses:

Oh no! (Oh no!)
It's up to my toe! (It's up to my toe!)
Oh gee! (Oh gee!)
It's up to my knee! (It's up to my knee!)
Oh fiddle! (Oh fiddle!)
It's up to my middle! (It's up to my middle!)
Oh heck! (Oh heck!)
It's up to my neck! (It's up to my neck!)
Oh dread, oh dread! It's up to my ...
(song ends)

rootbeer277 says: Perhaps mention that this is a Shel Silverstein poem?, which I certainly should have, save that I did not know that.

If you happen to stumble upon someone and they say, "Help! I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor", here are eight suggestions to handle the awkward situation.

  1. Verify if there is actually a boa constrictor in the area. If there is not, it should be safe to go through their pockets for any leftover LSD.
  2. Check to see if said boa constrictor is actually a cheap sleeping bag with a metal zipper with sharp teeth. This is a common misunderstanding.
  3. If the boa constrictor is actually a crocodile, don't fuck with it. They carry lots of firepower in their pockets and are not afraid to use it.
  4. If the boa constrictor is actually an alligator, laugh at it trying to act all tough like a crocodile. It will slither off in shame.
  5. If the person really has a boa constrictor stuck on their big toe, tickle it under its chin and offer it blueberry pancakes.
  6. Should the boa constrictor be large enough to be wrapped around a foot, sing it to sleep with Nigerian folk songs. If you don't know any, go to college and learn them for next time.
  7. If the boa constrictor has swallowed someone's whole leg, remove their trousers and examine the other leg. If it is attractive enough, you can distract the snake with an aardvark and slide the person to safety and probably some rescue sexual relations. Snakes are confused with the aardvark's nose and are wondering what the weird looking snake ate to be able to let it use leg-like appendages.
  8. If the boa constrictor has wrapped itself completely around a human body and is squeezing, try to shove some oranges in there to get some delicious vitamin C as you watch someone die a horrible death.

Iron Noder 2017

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