I have written this node
for my fellow node-readers, so that if they perchance happen to step into a wormhole
and be magically transported to Ancient Rome
, they will know exactly what to do to blend in with the Patricians
. Please, lend me your ears
First and foremost - know your toga. Togas in Ancient Rome are an item of clothing to be reckoned with, a symbol of free man and their right to citizenship. They are only worn at formal occasions, due to the extreme complexity involved in putting one on and in getting just the right look, and if the emperor notices that toga-etiquette is not being regarded, he will sometimes issue a decree to remind the citizens of its importance.
Ok, so not just anyone can wear any toga. If you are a woman you can't wear one at all, unless this is EARLY Ancient Rome, in which case you can. If you are just the average citizen, you get to wear a white one - the "toga virilis".
If you're running for public office, you get a special toga which has been extra whitened, sort of bleached bright white, so you would stand out in a crowd - this would be the 'toga candida".
If, through your expert use of rhetoric and the mob's admiration of your niceness, you actually get into public office, your toga got upgraded to "toga praetexta" which had a stripe.
But there is more to add - if in your stay in Ancient Rome, you manage to aquire some status, say, that of a senator, you get your toga stripe upgraded to - wait for it - a toga with a thicker toga stripe! Oh, the prestige!
If you get to be an emperor (as unlikely as it might be) your toga will be purple, and knowing how to wear a toga in this case is redundant, because undoubtedly you will have a horde of vestiplicus to put it on for you every morning. Unless of course it was through toga-knowledge that you rose to the status of emperor, which come to think of it could well be the case in an empire who posed so much importance on appearances.
But your average Patrician should know how to put on his own toga. And so should you, unless you want to look like a complete Plebian.
This mass of drapery, which would be thrice your height ( excluding your head) and twice your width, would have to be folded lengthwise and thrown over the left shoulder, dragging onto the floor for a considerable length behind you. Then it would have to be brought back to the front from under your right arm, the ends pulled once again backwards over your shoulders. To add to the richness of your folds, the material covering the back would then be pulled over again to the front.
And there you have it - you are now a fully toga-ed 21st century dude, who if sporting a roman haircut and a full knowledge of latin, could fool any of the locals of this ancient glorious empire.
And remember - Vestis Virum Facit! (The clothes make the man)