Go on, admit it - you've always wanted to haven't you? No? What if I told you that it's not just apes but those perennial favourites of enlightened humanity, monkeys, who have developed this elegant way of devouring the humble banana? Yes, it's time we humans took that final step in our evolution - ironically by imitating our simian siblings! So, you ask, how exactly do I eat a banana like a chimp?
Chances are, if you pick up a banana with intent to eat it, you'll peel it by grabbing the stalk and ripping it downwards, then peeling down the other flappy bits. If that is your intention, stop now! Take a leaf (no pun intended) from the chimp's book. Basically, chimps eat bananas sideways, by bending the banana slightly (usually in the direction of its natural bend) until the skin splits, revealing the precious yellow inner. The fruit is then easily retrievable from its case, thus facilitating its transfer into one's mouth.
This is all well and good, but why bother? Well, let me ask you, why do you bother peeling bananas the way you do now? As usual, it is pure social conditioning! The way you peel bananas now is more work than the beautifully simple chimp method. Face it - chimps spend their lives surrounded by bananas, swinging joyously from banana tree to banana tree and eating bananas. They are banana experts! They know how bananas tick. Splitting the banana sideways in one swift action is not only much easier than peeling all the flaps from the top, but is also scientifically proven* to greatly reduce the number of stringy bits you have to get off afterwards. Rigorous scientific testing has also proven this method to make the banana actually taste better!*
As well as saving you precious life energy and producing a more pleasant eating experience, eating a banana like a chimp is less embarrassing than the usual, let's face it, slightly phallic method. Plus, if you practise regularly, you get to eat loads of bananas! Bananas are good for you.
* Not scientifically proven