(idea) by Metacognizant Sun Jan 21 2001 at 4:12:43
It's hard, really hard, to end a habit. In many cases, religious observance (not belief, but ritual observance in a ritual-based religion such as Catholicism or Judaism) is just that, a habit. We light our candles and say our prayers and what-not to fill the time. Of course, some people really believe that God(s) wants them to do these things. And some people (a larger number, I think) fulfill the rituals not because of God(s) but because the rituals themselves are emotionally loaded with images from childhood, etc. But as for the rest of us, we remain observant by default. And this is a bad thing. Why do anything by default? I could run naked down the highway but why should I?
Just remember, if you're looking to stop doing things by default, go slow. If you end your observance all at once you may eventually swing the other way and become a religious fanatic due to misplaced guilt. Better to start in secret. You live in a religious society, you're scared to of alienation, but no one will know if you break religious law alone in your room, right? Next, go for the things that many accepted people already do. For instance, some ultra-orthodox Jewish women only wear skirts, but so-called "modern orthodox" Jewish women wear pants. Regulations like these can be the first to go; you can still feel safe once you jettison them. After that, it's best to operate on a case by case basis. With each opportunity to perform a ritual, ask yourself, "Why?". Eventually you'll be secure enough to sit at a table surounded with sanctimonious relatives and thank the cook, not God, for the meal.
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