If you've ever been to a Chipotle Mexican Grill, a QDoba, or just about any mexican / psuedo-mexican joint, you've probably encountered gargantuan burritos. You'll also know that consuming this scrumptious meal is a conundrum in itself. Many challenges arise: it's too big for your mouth, the burrito falls off, it gets messy.
After numerous attempts at eating burritos, however, I've come to develop useful eating techniques. I've come to consider myself a burrito power user by now, and the advice I'm about to dispense might become useful on your next burrito gig.
Side, Side, Middle.
First, never, ever unwrap the entire foil. It's there for a reason. It supports the form of the burrito. It is your best friend. Slowly unwrap the foil and only uncover bite-sized portions when necessary. If you do not want your burrito to implode, go easy with the foil.
Next, and the most important step, is to follow a side-side-middle biting pattern. This will serve as your rhythm. Start biting from one side (imagine the Apple logo), then proceed to bite on the opposite side. Then bite the middle. This process works because biting on the sides first provides "structural strength," allowing any unbitten portion to stand on its own. Biting heavily on one side almost always results in a burrito collapse. Side-side-middle ensures zen-like balance. Side-side middle works.
Repeat this process, and work your way downwards until you're finished with your burrito.
1) Unwrap only bite-sized portions of the foil.
2) Bite side-side-middle.
3) Repeat Step 1 and 2 until your Burrito is done.
Now go out there, grab a burrito and enjoy your meal! Don't forget to wipe your mouth when you're done.