Taking a page from their own playbook, the members of Metallica consume both Cups in their own package in one bite (stacking the cups atop one another and swallowing them whole).

When this first orgiastic burst of gluttony has concluded, they look around for still more. Using semantic arguments which may or may not hold up in court, Metallica takes your Cups, your friends' Cups, and the Cups of anyone else within reach.

When pressed on their justification, they claim that all Cups are innately delicious and therefore their property. Further, they assert that anyone who has a problem with their hoarding of RPBC supplies can find another candy to enjoy; Metallica has no use for those who disagree with their sole ownership of the world Cup supply.

Cries of dismay at their rapacious attitude do little to dissuade Metallica from gobbling up any and all RPBC in the vicinity. Cup pundits validate or vilify Metallica's appetite for treats, doing nothing to clarify the issue or propose a satisfactory solution for anyone.

Perhaps most frustrating of all, those candy fanciers who lack the funding and legal support of Metallica are left holding empty wrappers and asking passers-by where all the Cups have gone.

>Whew. Sorry, I had to try a nodeshell rescue even though Ninja-Lad beat me to it.

Yes. Yes I did. Mwahahahahaha.
Pardon me. I had a little attack of megalomaniacal glee. I'm fine now.

Channelling Lars Ulrich ....

OK, I'm like fscking Lars Ulrich from Metallica man, and like, we eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups however we fscking want, OK? But we don't do it for ourselves. We do it for you, the Metallica fans. I myself would like to hang out at Cultures eating Summer Salad With Avocado Dressing but to keep my physique toned for those muscle shirt shots I have to keep stoking up on the little chocolate and peanut buggers. And Het, man, he can eat them by the boxfull. We have to fscking watch him, y'know, 'cause otherwise he, like, forgets to unwrap them first, then he gets wind like you wouldn't believe and ignites himself onstage on the blazing firepot effects.

Where was I? ... Wait, uhm ...

So in conclusion, Rock On, Metallica fans, we'll see you on tour this summer. Except for you Napster users ...

Whew. Sorry, I had to try a nodeshell rescue even though Ninja-Lad beat me to it.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.