<<  Previous: The Unnoticeable Demise of James Gorsky.

How I almost got shot all up full of holes.

So driving through the urban decay outlands of Secor, with a dead man in my back seat. Did it bother me? Should it bother me?

Naw. See, no one can tell. The car's got a dark interior, see. And very little of his blood, an unnoticeable amount, got on the windows. So if I keep driving, and no one approaches the car, I'll be sitting pretty.

It was approaching night, now. The sky was colorful, dark blue on one end and red and pink on the other, like some sort of big cosmic popsicle. Like a big blueberry /slash/ strawberry treat. Only you can't eat it. It's too far away, and way too big for you. Also you could see the rain coming, on the dark side. It looked ominous. But I like rain. Don't tell me I don't, because I do.

Steam and smoke were rising from the stacks all around. In our entire journey throughout this part of the city, we only encountered maybe five other automobiles. Five vehicles, in a city of millions. Go figure. No one was interested, no one cared.

Our little convoy of two cars was starting to enter the more populated part of the city. There were starting to be more cars everywhere, but it was still a ghost town when compared to the downtown. Sure, it was making me a little nervous having a dead guy in my back seat, being surrounded by more people now. Luckily, though, you couldn't tell. Unless you were right next to the car, you couldn't even tell. I would just have to keep everyone away, let no one get that close.

At the intersection of Leaf & Pine, then, I was just not paying attention. The light turned yellow, and Grove driving the black SUV rolled on through. But when I got there, it just turned red. Running a red light, just to try to follow the SUV. And just my luck, there was a cop car to the right on the cross street. They don't like that. You've got to stop at those, dammit. They quickly flicked on their lights and stopped me half a block away.

SHIT. Cross your fingers, boy.

Grove in the SUV in front of me must noticed I was the intended target for the cops. So he turned right at the next intersection to circle the block. To come back for me. The cops wouldn't know we were together.

The lead cop, the one from the driver's seat, walked up to my window. There was another one in the second seat that looked a bit younger. I could see this from my rear view mirror.

"Good evening, Sir." he said. "May i have your license and registration, please?" He had a gruff southern accent. Not so far south like Alabama or Mississippi, more like Kentucky. He talked heavily, like he didn't have full control over his jaw or something.

I reached in the glove box for the registration and fished my license out of my wallet. Yeah, it actually was my car, but the plates were lifted off some abandoned piece of shit I found about a block from the HQ. I was pretty much fucked, though.

As I retrieved my stuff, he started his report of what I failed at. "You are aware you ran that red light back there, aintcha?" Yes, I nodded. He eyed the cracked window in the back. "Also your window is broken. You're gonna have to get that fixed up. Hey, your friend back here alright?"

SHIT, WHAT? I thought, and i whipped my head around. He must not have seen the blood from his angle. The car had a dark interior. Lucky me.

"uh, uh..." It's ok, boy, regain your senses. Be cool. "yeah, he's just tired. sleeping." Breathing hard. Heart racing. Not good.

He kept peering into the back seat with that inquisitive look that cops often have. "You sure he's alright? He looks a little uncomfortable for a sleeping guy."

"well..." I only had time for one word. He must have seen the blood.

He exploded into a fit of yelling. He drew his gun.

"Get out of the car! Get out of the car, and keep your hands where i can see them!"

He must have been horrified. He sounded like it. I think he was. By way of the rear view mirror I could see his buddy back in the cop cruiser get out and draw his gun, too. With two against me, I didn't have a chance with my own firearm. Yeah, I must comply. My own head is on the line. And I like my head. Sometimes.

I put my hands above my head and climbed out of the car. Right at that moment, the black SUV started to drive up from around the block. Grove, you're my savior. But I still might get shot. Fuck.

"Turn around and get on the ground!"

I started acting desparate. "no, guys, you don't understand..." I said, looking around as if trying to find a way out, or something. Irying to talk my way into pity, somehow. It was hopeless on the police. Besides, I have a dead man in the back seat of my car.

"Turn around, and get down on the ground now!"

I went on. "but, it wasn't my fault... he was a psycho, and he wouldn't shut up... i couldn't stand it... hewasgoingtogetusallkilled..." They wouldn't buy it, my false self-pity was washing down the drain.

During my standoff with two gun-laden police officers, Espen Grove and Freddy Anders got out of the black SUV parked behind the cops, and started to walk up behind them. They drew their guns. Fight fire with fire. My saviors. The cops had no idea.

The second, younger cop spoke out this time. "I will not ask you again! Please get down on the ground and turn around!"

Oh, nice!

I stood up straight, took a small graceful bow, and said with a smile, "thank you for being so polite!"

Grove and Anders pressed their gun barrels to the backs of the cops' heads. They both got looks of "ohmygod." The element of surprise.


Their heads both shot forward and were restrained by their necks. They well forward, and their heads bounced off the asphalt when they landed. Life's a losing game, I guess.

"Leave the car." Grove said with a stern tone. They both holstered their guns and Anders turned back to the car.

I picked up my driver's license from the dead cop's shirt pocket. Grove grabbed me by the arm, shoved his finger in my face and said, "NEXT time, don't run red lights!"

I also went to the car to retrieve my firearm, while Grove took the two guns from the dead officers' hands. I said, "you know, espen, why should I even trust you in the first place?"

He stood for a second, and said, "Because I'm the one who told you not to."

Makes sense to me. "Get in the back, there isn't any room for you to have a seat."

So I got in the back of the black SUV, the hatch. We took off, Grove driving by a web of back roads and alleys to clear up any suspicion that we were connected with the cop shooting. It was fun riding in the back of the SUV with no seatbelt. I haven't done that in a long time.

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