Holy Twinkie sacrifice

Directions:

1. Prepare the Sacrifice
• Remove the Holy Twinkie from its protective wrapping
• Raise the Holy Twinkie towards the Sun
• Scream wildly
2. Place the Holy Twinkie upon the altar.
3. Raise the plastic knife high above the sacrifice.
4. Recite the Prayer to the Twinkie God:


"Oh Lord of Hostess,
guardian of the Cream Filling,
bless us with thine powdered sugar."


5. Strike the sacrifice with the plastic knife.
6. Feast and rejoice! (serves one)