A ritual performed in ancient times to appease the Twinkie God
- Prepare the Sacrifice
Place the Holy Twinkie upon the altar.
Raise the plastic knife high above the sacrifice.
Recite the Prayer to the Twinkie God:
"Oh Lord of Hostess,
- Remove the Holy Twinkie from its protective wrapping
- Raise the Holy Twinkie towards the Sun
- Scream wildly
guardian of the Cream Filling,
bless us with thine powdered sugar."
Strike the sacrifice with the plastic knife.
Feast and rejoice! (serves one)