It was the year it rained all winter, the year the little town filled with water, every crack and crevice. It was also the year i left home. The dorms were old, and leaky. The whole winter, nothing was dry. We were all stuck inside, pinned in by El Nino. It was a long year. It was also the strangest of my life.

I come from a conservative little suburb, from a sheltered little life - in high school I was so crazy and pissy and evil and antisocial that i was nothing but an object of social ridicule, so I never really got out much. But i hated it. I knew i wanted to leave - I knew I was wasting away in that town. So one day I up and left.

In the dorms i was surrounded by people of all types. The only thing that joined us was that we all were weird. But I guess everyone is, in a way. I had probably never said the word 'masturbate' more than 2 or 3 times before I came to college. It just wasn't something i talked about. The first week in the dorms, i walked down the hall, into the room of some guy with huge speakers blasting metal. Admittedly, I was a little freaked out. But, in the name of making new friends i went up and introduced myself. He looked at me, and with a funny grin, said 'Hi, I masturbate. Shake my hand.' I looked at him with a look of mixed disgust and confusion. I didn't shake his hand.

Well, it was a long, rainy winter. I didn't talk to the guy again for quite a while, but eventually it was inevitable. We discovered that we both enjoyed playing Warcraft II (along with just about everyone else in the dorm). So we became friends, beating each other up over the internet and going to each other's rooms to laugh and gloat. We weren't that good friends that year - between both of our abrasive personalities we came close to strangling each other many times. Hell, we still do - but now he's one of my best friends. He's a bit weird but he's a good guy to get drunk with and hang out with, or just to talk to. Also, he's one of the only people who understands certain things about me. And he masturbates. A lot. I just hope he washes his hands afterwards. And I hope he gets a girlfriend soon - for everyone's sake.

Update: May 01, 2005.... My friend is now married, and i am now single, so things have changed a bit. As far as i know he is still a frequent masturbator.

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