Heavy Science

In science as in love,
too much concentration on technique
can often lead to impotence. _{--P. L. Berger}

Dr. Morgan Neglef looked for his name on the Finehurst University Physics' Department bulletin board. He was anxiously searching for his name posted on it. He wanted to be one of the researchers for the big project in the People's Republic of China's Zxianghu Institute of Technology, their sister school.

"Yes!" He blurted loudly, causing heads to turn in the hallway. "I've been selected to work on that electromagnetic dual experiment in time travel, and anti-gravity transport." Not restricted by environmental laws in the remote Benzhou Province, his particular studies and experiments in the Hutchinson Effect were obviously what got him the big nod. The secret was pulsing different amplitudes and frequencies at different angles and times."Man," he thought, "Peppered Eel with Bok Choi, I'm gonna be in seventh heaven!" --as he loved Chinese food.

What was important, was the creation of a shield from the tremendous heat generated when pumping up the voltage in the attempt to create enough warping of gravity and thus time, to survive. He wanted to get someone at Florida State with their 16 foot high, 15 ton, 16 million dollar magnet to conspire with him. The Hutchinson effect could allow heating of metals without the scorching of adjacent flammable materials. He wanted to try on an enormous scale, the creation of piezo electrical crystals made from polymers that could create huge Torsion Fields. He would help in that area and in mathematics from Jan Poolz of Sassafras State. The commutativity of fractional derivatives must be preserved with analytic continuation of operators. No mistakes can be tolerated.

To remain isolated, the surface effect levitation from the electromagnetic Plenum Effect was an essential part of his part in this. Dr. Ning Li's associate, Harriet Fu, was the expert on the Casimir Force in hopes of tapping the zero point energy that comes from the whole earth's gravitation field. "Heck, a Foucault pendulum proved that." The New Unified Field Theory looked at the diallel line of electron pulls from other planets, especially that from one as far as Uranus. That planet's field was along its rotational line. "Heh, he had to say that to his colleague about his big derriere. Oops, he might make him walk the Planck space." It was so simple: just like a helium balloon does nothing in itself to lift from gravity, the real factor is the difference in mass weight. And he had bought on the black market some of the lost papers of Nazi Germany's Hans Coler. The key planets were lining up with the sun for added effect. Morgan was excited about the future.

_______________

If anybody says he can think about quantum physics
without getting giddy,
that only shows he has not understood
the first thing about them. _{--Niels Bohr}

∇2φ
 − 1 ∂2
  __ __  
  c2∂t2 ≈ ∃2

The Concorde allowed him to arrive in Shanghai before he could even finish his final tweakings of the math on the experiment; he was going to twist the Riemann zeta function in such a way as to make the Lorentzian space-time do his bidding. He found a Mercedes waiting for him at the door to the terminal.

"Dr Fu is most happy to not just meet you, esteemed doctor, but to get to work right away." He was greeted by the driver, Fung Lu, and the one charged with overseeing the team's every need. "If call her Harriet before you make yourself float -- she slap you into next dimension, hee, hee."

They were all gathered around a conference table in the hotel not too many miles from the airport. They would get a chance to review with members of The People's High Magnetic Field Laboratory some matters of importance. Tomorrow they would take a helicopter ride to the field.

"I've found the flaw in the critics' examination of Sakharov's equation, but I need my spectroscope and barium titanate," Jan piped up."

"And, I need my piezo amplifiers, to tap the Higgs particles of Dark Energy," Harriet cried.

Immediately their liason, Fung Lu, calmed everyone, "No, not to worry. Here's everything you need, and more. We've got a PZT material superior to your capacitor dielectric. We have appropriated some ultra-conductors with discrete macromolecular structures."

_______________

Science is but the exchange of ignorance
for that which is another kind of ignorance. _{--Lord Byron}

The helicopter ride was noisy and the party of scientists were weary. They had bowls of rice and the local delicacy of some small game bird mixed with colorful leaves and flowers. Then they hit their beds, to be ready for the big day tomorrow. But, Morgan got out his satellite phone and dialed... "Frank, you ready on your end tomorrow? Well actually day after tomorrow our time. This will be perfect, at the opposite ends of the earth, and right where the vortex of the gravitons will be their strongest. I'll be at the Chinese magnificent electromagnetic lab then. Mark our watches, 1PM, okay?" He then gobbled down some more of that delish dish he called General Tao's Chicken that he had hoarded. He liked the way it rhymed with Mao. "Heh, no wokkie, no workee," he giggled to himself.

_______________

The latest refinements of science
are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age. _{--Winston Churchill}

"Okay, over in Building 3, you will be, Dr. Neglef." He was informed, while the other scientists went to their assignments. He gathered the suit made out of the special polymer he ordered, and went into the experimentation vault after putting it on. The solar batteries were fully charged, and he clicked it on. It glowed. He went over to the archway of wires and metal and plastic and placed himself under it. He had a remote control in one hand, and a PDA with the calibrations on it in the other. He had Jan double check his figures before he started, and he hoped to feel himself levitate this time with more power. Hey, so he gained a few extra pounds, he would adjust. The suit successfully prevented any heat arrays from spoiling things.

He was dialing in the correct amounts of alternating spikes of electricity flowing over and around him. It was highly complex, but his computer could handle what he input. Ah, it was now 1 PM! He brought the pertinent numbers together. He started to feel the classic headache... was he feeling lighter? Then he saw Jan and Harriet, and the others running in pointing to a set of numbers on a large lecture pad. They were yelling something, but he could hardly hear...

"Professor! You've got a critical error! You were supposed to have multiplied here by 2, not squared it!"

Their words were quite difficult to decipher as his metal fillings shot through the roof of his mouth--- straight through the top of his head. The iron coalesced in his blood and shot through every pore. But, the worst part was he was not able to celebrate the fact that he was suspended in the air.

Morgan had indeed become to his horrified fellows, a Red Chinese in more ways than one.

For the I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Text: The 2005 Halloween Horrorquest