A game for the passively suicidal
. It requires a conscious effort to poison these three major organs, to see which one will give out first. Obviously, this will take even longer than a game of Monopoly
or the all-time greatest card game, War
For the heart: If you're content to play a long game, tasty and fattening foods will take care of this for you. Examples: Chinese lunch specials, the six meat pizza, diner hamburgers, fried steak for breakfast.
For a short game, heavy use of drugs such as cocaine, morphine, and heroin, is recommended, due to the rapid decelerations and accelerations in heart rate associated with their use. Famous winner of heart: Jerry Garcia.
For the liver: This one is simple. Drink like a fish. Hard liquor should produce better results than the swill we Americans call beer. For those who are allergic to alcohol, or want to be more creative about their downfall, high dosages of lithium will also work. Famous winner of liver: Mickey Mantle.
For the lungs: Two or more packs of cigarettes a day. Also, the inhalation of marijuana, opium, hashish, and depending on where you live, the air. Cigarettes are fastest, but the others are more fun, take your pick. Famous winner of lungs: George Harrison.
This game seems to be exclusive (at least under this name), to a small group of shut-in weirdos in New York City and Westchester County. Google searches for it tend to bring back organ donor stories and haggis recipes.
As a variation, you can play "Heart Liver Lungs Brain". The brain can be killed with any number of things: Most of the aforementioned illegal drugs, cocaine-withdrawal seizures, psychiatric disorders, high-level psychiatric medications such as Thorazine, impact injuries, et cetera. The brain is difficult to kill directly, but indirect results such as suicide are accepted. Famous winners of brain: Kurt Cobain, Sylvia Plath.
I have been playing for the last seven years with some small results in the heart and brain areas. The point is not really to win quickly, but to do as many of the recommended activities as possible before winning.