Here's a secret. (Here's how Bad it was):
My cd was on repeat mode and I lived (breathed) bubblegum pop for three weeks without minding. Every song on Aqua's album made me cry, especially this one. I stayed awake until I couldn't anymore - three hours of sleep in the morning lasted till 8 am the next. I ate ice cream and channel surfed and laughed hysterically. I didn't spend money or do Fun Stuff but I went to the mall nearly every day because that is where the car drove to by itself.

Here's a secret. (Here's how Bad it was):

I thought I still needed to pretend so I pretended I was fine. Still, it took me two sentences into a description of anything to tear up. It took me two nights of vacation before I tried out the empty bed, and ten minutes of miserable self-indulgent wailing before I fell asleep. It took me two boxes of Ice Cream Sandwhiches and two extra degrees of pumped-up hilarity to remember to forget about work.

Here's a secret. Here's how bad it was:

We thought we might need to pretend to be fine and Avi was doing her best to smile for me. Really we were both drowning in private miseries and pretending to help each other float. Together we kept bobbing up and down and no one came to save us.


I've got a feeling you could use a little smile
Hoping it would stay there for just a little while

'Happy Boys and Girls' is a song by Aqua, the first track on their debut album 'Aquarium'. It is one of the high points of the album. As with most of Aqua's work it takes the form of a duet, of sorts, between lead singer Lene Nystrom and gruff co-vocalist Rene Dif, the Einar Örn of pop. Musically it is upbeat europop.

Happy boys and happy girls we'll be
(we are the happy boys and girls)
Happy boys and happy girls we'll be
(so happy yeah, so, so happy yeah)

stand/alone/bitch's writeup captures some of the song's appeal, in that it is so relentlessly, unassailably cheerful that it provokes a deep depression in some souls. The constant exhortations to 'be happy' and to 'go have some fun' don't seem to have a place in a world where cancer and misery exists, and the gulf that separates the song from reality is like an unbreachable glass wall allowing a glimpse of heaven, but preventing access. The fact that Aqua no longer exist as a group makes the song all the more painful - now, heaven is just a memory. The train went on, leaving us behind in the mortal world. The song was not released as a single.

I don't want to waste my time on simple little things
I'd rather stay here all the night with everyone who sings

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