Hades - 'Ulysses' - James Joyce

Time:
10-11 am
Scene:
'The Graveyard'
Persons:
Dodder, Grand and Royal
Canals, Liffey -The 4 Rivers of Hades
Cunningham-Sisyphus
Coffey-Cerberus
Caretaker-Hades
O'Connell-Hercules
Dignam - Elpenor
Parnell-Agamemnon
Mentor-Ajax

Symbol::
-- Heart
Art/Science: RELIGION(??)


This episode covers Paddy Dignam's burial, and we
meet Stephen's real father. Bloom and Dignam's other
friends are in a horse drawn carriage driving to the
graveyard. Bloom spots Stephen, who reminds him of his
own son Rudie who died when he was only 11 days
old.
The parallels to the the original work are rather easy
to find: 4 rivers, Cerberus - Father Coffey, Ulysses
meeting his dead mother - Bloom thinking about his deceased parents.
Bloom feels ill when the friends bury Dignam and when the
priest is speaking of the rebirth of the soul: dead is dead.
There is also (as most readers suggest) a cameo by James Joyce himself.

Αδης

The god of the dead. Hades was the son of Cronus and Rhea, and brother of Zeus, Poseidon, Hera, Hestia, and Demeter (Table 38). Like Zeus and Poseidon, he was one of the three 'overlords' who shared the empire of the Universe between them after the defeat of the Titans. While Zeus gained Heaven, and Poseidon the Sea, Hades' portion was the world of the Nether Regions - Tartarus, or Hell.

Like his brothers, Hades had been swallowed at birth by Cronus, and later disgorged. He took part in the fight against the Titans and the Cyclops armed him with a helmet which conferred invisibility on the wearer. This helmet of Hades, like that of Siegfried in German mythology, was subsequently worn by other deities, such as Athena, and even by mortal heroes, such as Perseus.

Down in the Nether Regions, Hades reigned over the Dead. He was a pitiless master, who allowed none of his subjects to return to the Living. He was assisted by many demons and genii who worked under his orders (for example Charon the ferryman). Persephone, who was no less cruel, reigned at his side. Persephone, the daughter of Demeter, was his niece (Table 38). Hades fell in love with her, but her father Zeus would not agree to his marrying her, since Demeter was outraged by the thought of her young daughter being imprisoned for all eternity in the land of shadows. Hades therefore decided to abduct her, and carried her off from the plains of Sicily while she was playing with her companions and picking flowers. He was perhaps even helped in this abduction by Zeus, who became his clandestine accomplice. Be that as is may, Zeus later ordered Hades to return Persephone to her mother; but Hades had taken precautions - he had given Persephone a pomegranate seed to eat. Now, whoever visited the kingdom of the Dead, and ate anything there, could no longer return and dwell among the Living. Persephone was thus obliged to spend a third of each year with Hades. Her marriage with him was apparently childless.

Hades appears infrequently in the legends. Apart from the story of the abduction, which belonged in Demeter's cycle, his name hardly features except in one other myth, in which he is linked with Heracles's legend. In the Iliad, it was related that when the hero went down into the Nether Regions, Hades wished to deny him access to his kingdom; he met Heracles at the Gates of Hell, but the hero wounded him with an arrow in the shoulder. Hades had to be rushed up onto Mount Olympus, where the healing god Paean applied a magic ointment which healed his wound immediately. Other versions have Heracles stunning the god with a huge boulder. In any event, Zeus' son Heracles was the victor.

Hades, whose name means 'the Invisible', was usually not named out loud, for fear that his anger might be aroused by hearing himself called by name. Euphemisms were used to describe him instead; he was most commonly called by his surname, Pluto, 'the Rich' - an allusion to the inexhaustible richness of the earth, both the cultivated earth and the mines that lay hidden beneath it. Pluto was often depicted holding a horn of plenty, as a symbol of this richness.

{E2 DICTIONARY OF CLASSICAL MYTHOLOGY}

My employer for the last year has been the Incorporated Lands of Hades or Hades for short. I will now endeavor to explain the mechanics of Hades to you (the layman).

BACKGROUND

I was taken to Hades after ripping out all my internal organs in order to successfully prove (which I did) that medical science is a collection of lies and fabrications based on nothing as all the sciences are (a reason to outlaw science moving forward - but I digress). There I was first consigned to the pits of Hades to swim in volcanic acid surrounded by jabbering human heads with no skin on them but tongues that were eight feet long and penetrated all of your orafices at once constantly. I did not mind this and thus was considered for a battlefield promotion.

In order to qualify for a battlefield promotion in Hades you must prove yourself immune to torture. Because I was tortured throughout my youth by my adoptive father who murdered my birth parents and took me to Berlin in the 1930s to meet his masters, I was unbothered by the processes I was taken through in order to make me feel poorly. For this I was brought up before the Council of Twelve, consisting of the ranking battlegroup leaders that Hades keeps on hand for invasions of other realms and total conquest of them. When we took and destroyed Heaven a thousand years ago I am told it was a magical moment in Hades history.

Battlegroup leaders rank higher than workgroup leaders but workgroup leaders are no less important. They do the nuts and bolts work that sets up invasions and then processes the native population of those realms into slaves who work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, without break, being tortured the entire time. This goes on for a beautiful eternity. If you have ever seen a bleeding man on the ground with a crushed skull trying to get away from you before you swing your sledgehammer again, you know what a truly beautiful thing it is to experience. This is one the benefits of being in the employ of Hades. You can do these things and it makes you feel good because you are removed from the pussification of liberalism which makes you weak and makes you stop enjoying doing what you were born to do to other people: torture, torment, and eventually slowly and methodically kill. Hades brings this joy back.

There is a guy no one ever sees who runs Hades, but he has agents who act on his behalf. After the Council of Twelve reviewed my life history and my experiences in Hades, I was contacted by one of the big guy's top lieutenants. I was offered a blowjob from a 19th century Victorian Age London hooker and after that was assigned to the workgroup headed by Joan Crawford (an actress). My duties would involve coming back to Earth in my existing timeline in order to sow chaos throughout the political world. Moves must be made so that a full scale invasion by Hades armies can begin in earnest within the next twenty years. We need this planet destabilized and already you are feeling the impact of our incursion. Your planet is heating up as Hades draws closer. Oh, we are going to have SO MUCH FUN with you people. I am ecstatic.

I have an official capacity as Black Agent Scout, which means I move secretly, without ever telling anyone I am here or explaining what I am to anyone. I do this in order to use stealth to create and sow chaos everywhere, whether through a trail of bloody and broken human bodies (especially very young children) and misinformation and propaganda which I convince the unsuspecting is true through use of our intermediary, FOX News and other outlets. That one is the most effective thus far.

As a functional and highly talented and skilled operator who embraces secrecy and despises leakers, I am able to effectively pave the way for the entry of more agents of Hades which are increasingly being assigned to appointed government posts worldwide on behalf of all the world's government. This will help make ready for when the big guy's chosen one, the "antichrist" will make an appearance and reverse everything done by Jesus completely and bring back the tenth century B.C. in all its relative glory.

 

TOURS OF HADES

Tours can be arranged of Hades if you pray nightly to the big boss, who runs Hades. Ask him in all his masculine, extremely well-hung glory to spirit you away. Let him know you are ready to die and want to be consigned to suffer eternally in the fire and piss pits of Hades. Say, "That is what I want, more than anything, other than having my genitals torn off on a subway which would be preferable." He will make your dreams come true.

The Outer Wall of Hades and the Iron Gate of Hades are accessible from the north only and the wall cannot be crossed at any other point. It is impossible due to the design. Basically, it was designed that way and walls work. It is the most reliable trend in human and Hadian history. To gain access through the gate you have to commit your soul to eternal suffering and live out having your genitals savagely cut and burned off by a mob in a subway over and over for twenty years equivalent time before you can petition to enter the lava pits or to watch your erstwhile former lover tell your first grade teacher how terrible you were in bed and then watch them really yuck it up. Good stuff.

There are concrete bridges that are notoriously unreliable which stretch across various parts of the lava pits. You can use these to announce yourself, to dare the agents of Hades to do their worst, and if you can bear what comes down you may get an opportunity to audition for a workgroup or battlegroup. You have to earn your battlefield promotions the old fashioned way. Liberalism was banned from Hades a million years ago.

 

PREPARING YOURSELF FOR A FUTURE IN HADES

You are bound there, if I can be frank, so you best prepare. How would I recommend you make ready?

Regular self-abuse. Throw yourself into traffic, use drugs at the library and attack people, put yourself in a cement mixer that is just starting up. There are many options. The more you get used to pain and suffering here, the more likely you will be to get a battlefield promotion. At a time when Corey Lewandowski is looking to staff a congressional office, many opportunities will become available.

You must also learn to use and abuse others for pleasure and profit without feeling bad about this. Liberalism and the disease it represents weakens people and makes them feel bad about hurting each other, but we were put here for one reason, one and all. To hurt each other as much as we can and in whatever ways we can, and to ALWAYS take it up a notch at the end of the day. Make yourself hard. The time will come.

I wish you the best of luck going forward and maybe one day we'll work together. As businessmen.

Ha"des (?), n. [Gr. + to see. Cf. Un-, Wit.]

The nether world (according to classical mythology, the abode of the shades, ruled over by Hades or Pluto); the invisible world; the grave.

And death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them. Rev. xx. 13 (Rev. Ver. ).

Neither was he left in Hades, nor did his flesh see corruption. Acts ii. 31 (Rev. Ver.).

And in Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torments. Luke xvi.23 (Rev. Ver.).

 

© Webster 1913.

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