Dear Dr. Martenson,
I am Dr. Robert E. Nipola. I work at Arkham Asylum
and this is the transcription of an account given by one of my patients, Mr. Nelson Cleese, an anthropologist
. It is a most bizarre case of hysteria
, I see that you've done some work in this field and I would like you to get back to me with any information that may give me insight.
"You will doubt my accounts as any who would be considered of right mind by the society of this new age. It is, however, paramount that you accept my extollations for why the human community as a whole must stay away from the wretched "E2." I will have little time to explain, for creatures far more terrifying than lions hunt me.
My first and only experience on E2 was while I was trying to do research in the computer laboratory of Arkham University. I had just obtained my masters in anthropology and my wife had sent me an e-mail to congratulate me. On the bottom of the letter, though, there was a most occult set of letters that glowed a freakish blue. My curiosity piqued I clicked my mouse upon it and it opened my to the first of many horrifying experience.
The occult surroundings into which I found myself thrown I hardly have the words to explain. It is apparently a universe through which thought and word exist as living beings, where subconscious desires and animalistic rage comes into existence as bundles of word and thought known as "nodes." These nodes are the creation of a league of sorcerer known aptly as "noders." The noders are powered by degree, all the way from the first "level" to the level of some type of demigod named "nate of oostendorp." Such an frightening title indeed.
I proceeded through the routine initiation process, clicking one of many of the portals represented by underlined letter-strings. Upon speaking to some of the other mystics I learned of some quite powerful individuals, including a beast known only as EDB. I would later learn the horror of confrontation with the three-lettered monster.
Before I explain my terrible fear I will catalog, for you, the sorcerous types I had become acquainted with, either through direct conversation or understanding of their node magics.
Saige: A mysterious saintly woman. She maintains a holy order of individuals dedicated to taking "nodes" which are without souls and bringing them some sort of redemption. This group is known as, The Nodeshell Rescue Team.
JessicaPierce: This one frightens me. As mercurial as the one known as Saige, though seemingly under the control of some malign being.
Pseudo_Intellectual: Accorded great respect for his bringing to life of facts, though in not nearly the mechanical way the one known as Webster 1913 does.
Webster 1913: A grand machine of some kind, built out of words. One would wonder if such a beast could one day gain cognition, and I hypothesize this one has. He has granted the occult libraries of E2 many nodes, though most of them are sterile fact. There are one or two instances, however, when it appears to speak on its own. I would speak more on this one, but my time is short.
nate: I fear to speak of this one, the raw power flowing through him is astounding - so astounding that I believe few have made contact with him. "Him" may be a narrow-minded interpretation, for once one elevates themself to that level within any universe gender ceases to matter. But with such little time, digression cannot be afforded.
Dem Bones: Another odd one. Just as Webster 1913 is under the control of some benign outside force, I believe this one to be some sort of homunculus of nate. Perhaps, just as spoken of in Kabbalah, the all-father nate may not be perceived save through the veils of delusion, which is where Dem Bones falls. He is the Mohammed to nate's Allah.
Up until this point the prechronistic electrical universe was most fascinating, until I began to pore through the forbidden nodology. I discovered the name of a wizard from long ago whose name was forbidden to be spoken, but in the name of free knowledge was allowed to exist in the memory of the databoard world. I began reading the nodes of the one known as Pinchemadre. The forbidden writings caused my vision to blur and small blood vessels in my nose burst, causing a slight nosebleed. I was struck with the most horrible fear that I would fall upward and the real world swirled into a most terrible oblivion around me. Then, at that point, there was only an open node done by the typhonic master and the empty chatterbox. That is when I made the acquaintance of the foulest fomorian this side of Alpha Proxima.
It looked at me as though I were a side of meat. I could feel it's breathing on the side of my neck, if you could call it that. The thing, known to itself and others as EDB is a creature created by nate long ago as an experiment, a demonic half for the beatific Dem Bones. It has since been patrolling the binary landscape in search of individuals who desire to know too much. I had desired that. I spoke a warning to the beast, crying, "In the name of nate I terrify you, in the name of dbrown I compel you, and by the power of a million nodeshells I bind you!" At that the beast snarled and lunged at me, attempting to close its mucus-covered metal jaws about my waist, but my incantation succeeded.
The creature lays quietly lost in the intricate maze-knot of a million nodeshells. But day-by-day the good-intentioned, though misguided Nodeshell Rescue Team unties that knot. It is not long until the beast is let loose, and by the power of the broken oath I fear that the dark one...Pinchemadre...may return."
The day after this account was taken Mr. Cleese was found shaking in the corner of his room. He seemed quite unable to speak, but he scrawled out on a piece of paper, "I been borged." Any information you may have to offer would be most helpful.
-With great admiration,
Dr. Robert E. Nipola, M.D.