(Another in a series of "Myrkabah
experiencing culture shock
in the southwest region of the United States
When you're living a life of excess, there's nothing better than a place that serves breakfast 24 hours a day. You never know when you're going to wake up, and like any sane human being, have an insane craving for eggs and salted pork. Sometimes, Guinness for breakfast just isn't enough. When you've been asleep for the past 22 hours, had been up for 11 days before that, and you wake up with a ravenous hunger not unlike a bear immediately following hibernation, then you tend to only want to frequent restauraunts who give you exactly what you fucking want without question as to time. It's a mindset that if you understand, you do, and if not, you probably never will. Let's just say there's a reason that restauraunts that serve anything at any time thrive as a general rule.
Taco Cabana is one of those restaurants. If you're looking for a greasy burrito or a greasy breakfast burrito, it's a good place to go. If you're looking for anything else, well, it ain't the best.
Breakfast is an odd thing among people, I've noticed. There aren't many people who can be said to have a 'usual' when it comes to lunch or dinner - people want variety there. But for some reason, when it comes to breaking the nightly fast, people want something familiar. It's like a ritual - hence, people tend to order the same one or two things every morning. I rarely woke up in the mornings, but that hardly mattered. Hunger is hardly respectful of time.
When my breakfast choice wasn't straight up espresso or tequila shots, it was eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns with biscuits. That was when I lived in the South. New Mexico culture had enough of an effect on me that I had switched my preference to eggs, bacon and hashbrowns on a tortilla. If you've ever had a so-called 'biscuit' in New Mexico, you understand the motive behind this switch.
Therefore, when I pulled up to the drive thru window at Taco Cabana at 8:30 PM, fresh out of bed, I was a man with an agenda, motherfucker. I wanted eggs, bacon and hashbrowns on a goddamn tortilla, and woe befall anyone who stood in the way of that.
I scanned the menu quickly, when my eye fell upon a particularly odd item.
#67: GRINGO BREAKFAST -
A bit of background is in order here. "Gringo", in Spanish, is a term often used to refer to white people. It isn't exactly offensive, but it's often used in a negative connotation. It may have been unreasonable, but I got quite angry at the time. Who the hell were these guys to presume that they knew what I, a so-called "Gringo" wanted for breakfast? Presumptuous motherfuckers, I say. I read on.
#67: GRINGO BREAKFAST - THREE EGGS (ANY STYLE), FOUR SLICES OF BACON, HASHBROWNS AND TORTILLAS
Yeah, so I ordered it. It was what I was looking for anyway, and even though I had to swallow my pride to do it, pride isn't very filling. You can make this at home. Just fry up some bacon, and use a bit of the grease as seasoning to scramble three eggs, topped with melted cheddar cheese. Use the rest of the grease to season some hash browns. Serve with tortillas. This makes enough for about two good sized burritos - for the most authentic flavor, make sure to top with green chile, but decent salsa will do in a pinch. It's a hopeless white boy breakfast - Albuquerque-style!
This eventually became one of my favorite breakfasts - well, it was already, but... Once I got over the initial shock, I got a big kick out of ordering it in my very best redneck voice. "Yea, I wawnt a gawddamn grin-go breakfast! With aygs on that muh'fucker! And cheese! And some of that green shit you boys like so much! YEE-HAH!"