Why is it that I always get into fights? Is it that my nose is crooked
and my chin lopsided, and people think that a clean right-hook would
set everything back into order? I remember a friend from tutor was
throwing a party to celebrate the end of year 11 exams, last year. I
was just sitting there with a friend, eating chips and minding my own
business, when two scrawny asian guys with those Cabramatta
split-in-the-middle hairstyles from the 90's approached me.
The shorter guy on the right said to me, in what I initially thought
was a remote dialect of chinese but was actually cantonese with a
vietnamese acccent as thick as honey:
"I think your sister's got beautiful eyes" (Again! There goes with that
bullshit where people reckon my girlfriend is my sister!)
I replied "Why thank you". My friend, who's Singaporean, didn't know what was going on because he only speaks Fukien.
The shorter guy went on to say
"No. I think. Your sister. Has got beautiful eyes."
Yes, exactly like that, including the pauses for effect. I pretended to be totally absorbed in chip eating.
Then he said "Wanna fight?"
"'C'mon! We can go outside, hit each other a bit, then come back inside
with our arms around our shoulders and we'll be good friends."
The two Vietnamese guys avoided us after that, looking disappointed. I
would too, if I came all the way from Vietnam to Sydney and found out
that 5T wasn't still around and that the city wasn't overflowing with
chinks ripe for the beatening. Later that night, I saw the same pair
challenging some really tall, lanky aussie guy. No doubt in my mind,
that pair probably did Muay Thai or whatever, otherwise they wouldn't
be so cocky.