Frank Chu is one interesting motherfucker. While living in San Francisco, I had the opportunity to encounter his being many times. The first of his protest signs that really interested me was one of his professional, Kinkos-aided designs reading:
IMPEACH CLINTON
12 GALAXIES UNITED
TO AN OSTROLOGICAL ROCKET SOCIETY
He used to come into the Waldenbooks at Embarcadero Center, walk to the back without saying anything and hide his sign in between some bookcases. At one point my manager threw away the sign. He returned the next morning, asking in his muffled, scattered voice: "I, uh, had a sign here..." He was no longer allowed in the store.
I dressed as him twice for Halloween. He is a very recognizable character in the city of San Francisco, and at the Castro Halloween carnival, I was not the only one. He is usually wearing a dark blue suit, extra large for his body. Walking with a limp, at lunchtime he drapes his suit jacket over his arm.
He will sometimes give advice to tourists. He always asks for a donation to his protest. Which usually begs the question, what is his protest?
Frank believes that his family over many years has been filmed and that film has become a television show called the Richest Family. He believes that he is owed compensation for this, and after seeking it from the government he has learned that they are part of a giant conspiracy, linked to the KGB, and communicating by ESP. He believes that our government, along with the governments of Russia and others, have secretly been controlled by space aliens from several galaxies over. These aliens make up a united network of galaxies, all united in some way against him.
Frank has been seen about town smoking marijuanna cigarettes, but it never looks like very good stuff. I would imagine he uses his donations to fund this habit. And it's all good, because he's an even better conversationalist for it.
In 2000 I composed an instrumental piece called To An Ostrological Rocket Society as a dedication to this unique man. It is a journey inside of his mind as he walks through Chinatown on a rainy day, misunderstanding most of what is said to him, he retreats into a small Dim Sum restaurant. The piece concludes with the tail end of a song from Mary Poppins, the little Banks children representing the Richest Family and his past, overcoming him... He is also a featured character in my short story Allegiance. I find it incredibly satisfying to place my self temporarily within his world.
His sign recently has had the back, cardboard portion selling advertisements
for random things. Sandwich shops, internet start-ups, and scientology ads have all been seen. He also frequently changes the contents of the front of the sign, decalring impeachment requests for President George W. Bush, George Bush Sr., Madison, and more.
Frank's resume has been found, somehow and I was handed a copy of it from a reliable source, which I am reprinting below. His past employment is interesting, and it is hard from such an objective viewpoint to determine where his break with consensus reality began. Of particular interest is his ending diatribe of credentials, which resembles the list of codifications inside Tortoise's Standards insert. I hope this unique San Franciscan can live on in an infamy comprable to the esteemed Emperor Norton.
RESUME
PERSONAL
Mr. Frank W. Chu
-------- St.
Oakland, CA 94607
(---) --------
EDUCATION
University of California
Admissions Office
120 Sproul Hall
Berkeley, California
California State University
Admissions Office
25800 Carlos Bee Blvd
Hayward, California
Merritt College
Admissions Office
12500 Campus Drive
Oakland, California
The College of Alameda
Admissions Office
555 Atlantic Drive
Alameda, California
(AN): ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE in BUSINESS ADMINSTRATION
PROFESSION
Marketing Executive*
SALARY
$22,500/Negotiable
POLITICS
THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
Washington Post
Newsweek
Wall Street Journal
CONSERVATIVE
EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
Sierra Academy of Aeronautics
Accounting Department
Salary: $20,000/Yr
Oakland, California
Fuji Express
Truck Driver
Salary: $19,000/Overtime
S. San Francisco, California
Industrial Freight Systems, Inc.
Truck Driver
Salary: $17,000/Yr
Oakland, California
PREFERENCE
The Embaracadero Center
San Francisco, California
Dean Witter Reynolds Inc.
San Francisco, California
TransAmerica Center
San Francisco, California
PERSONAL INTEREST
THE OLYMPIC SKI RESORT
Squaw Valley
Sierra Ski Ranch
North Star
(AN): ADVANCED LIFT(S)!
* An assistant.
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