he's so far away;
today, all I feel are his
hands (not) touching me


Yeah, I know: haiku is overused and cliché...but it was the perfect container for the feeling I have right now. You may take away my poetry license now.

Here's a list I've been keeping over the past several years in an attempt to chronicle every type of animal I eat. Yes, I realize a couple sections are disappointingly short, but I am not a hunter and it's hard to find much besides chicken and beef in American restaurants. Most entries in the seafood section were discovered at various sushi restaurants, though a family trip to Hawaii three years ago helped round it out.

Important disclaimer: I am not a bloodthirsty carnivore, nor am I trolling for vegetarians. I had simply noticed that even though we are surrounded by a practically endless assortment of creatures, we seem to rely on chicken, beef, pork, and a small selection of fish for our meat supply. I decided to keep a running list to see how many types of animals a person actually does eat. The experiment may not be valid anymore since I intentionally try new things when I can, but it's interesting nonetheless. These are my results after 3.5 years.

Mammals
Antelope
Buffalo
Caribou
Cow (adult and veal)
Elk
Goat
Kangaroo
Lamb
Pig
Whitetail Deer

Fowl
Chicken
Cornish Game Hen
Duck
Ostrich
Turkey

Reptiles and Amphibians
Alligator
Frog

Fish, Crustaceans, and Mollusks
Alaskan King Crab
Anchovies
Blue Crab
Catfish
Clams
Cod
Conch (cooked and raw)
Crawfish
Crappie
Eel
Flounder
Flying Fish Roe
Grouper
Haddock
Herring
Jellyfish
Lobster
Mackerel
Mah Chong
Mahi-Mahi
Mussels
Octopus (cooked and raw)
Oysters (cooked and raw)
Pollock
Rainbow Trout
Red Clam
Red Snapper
Salmon Roe
Salmon (cooked and raw)
Sardines
Scallops (cooked and raw)
Sea Urchin (only raw)
Shrimp
Snail
Softshell Crab
Sole (only raw)
Squid
Stone Crab
Sturgeon
Swordfish
Tilapia
Tuna (cooked and raw)
Whitefish
Yellowtail (only raw)


Edit: I would not recommend raw octopus to anyone under any circumstances. That is all. Thank you.

Get Well Soon.

And Happy Birthday to Christina, as well.

Sorry that one is late.

I've been having the worst trouble with time.

Have you ever had one of those moments where the total absurdity of your current situation just comes straight home to roost?

Because I have. Just now, in fact.

You see, it's Valentine's Day, and, to nobody's great surprise, least of all my own, my entertainment for the evening came to a pair of cans of Bombardier's and wrangling with an essay on the morality of breaking immoral laws. Furthermore, nobody's about in my squat because it's reading week (that's a bit like half term for certain universitary courses) and those that are about are off doing wonderful and intensely hilarious things. And, in a fit of unforgivable clumsiness, I knocked over my tin of beer and the remnants of it spilt all over the floor.

Not to worry, because the dunny's only next door, I'll harvest some bog paper to wipe it up.

So I go and do that, and as I trot back to my room, I notice some bloke from down my corridor's come back with a lady friend and, faces clamped together, are wrestling wit hthe door key to get back into his room. Well, fair enough, 'tis the season to make whoopee, all credit to him.

It's then that the delicious irony of him wrestling to get into his room with a woman at exactly the same moment as me wrestling to get into my room with some Kleenex really hits me. Even though it's not what it looks like.

Ergh.

Oh well, back to Joseph Raz I suppose.

Not that knowing the ins and outs of the theory of the social contract as a moral reason to obey the law will render me any less of a charmless gimboid...

February 14th
OMFG. This date doesn't even deserve its title, hence I shall simply call it February 14th from here on in. The idea behind February 14th does not make sense. If you're only expected to be romantic and loving on one day out of 365, you're going to have a sad life. I would prefer to make girls feel good every day, and ignore the commercial bullshit that is hanging around. But NOOO, some people will just DRAG you into it. You cannot ignore it, you cannot like it. In fact, I have this theory that (February 14th's title) was just an invention by greeting card companies, chocolate companies and florists to earn another measly billion dollars in profit. It doesn't make sense.

And unfortunately, I was forced to show my face in public twice today. I had to work a shift from 10a until 2p, and I thankfully got a bit of time out the front today. I need all I can get. Anyway.

<flashback>About two years ago, a bloke I'm good friends with (still) moved across here from the Phillippines. A year ago today, he humiliated me. I told him my opinion about February fourteenth 367 days ago, and he still dragged me into it. His tradition is to buy a dozen yellow roses and hand them out to single girls. Last year, he handed out about half-a-dozen of these roses, then decided to dare a bunch of us to give other girls a rose each.
I declined, politely.
He continued, almost pushing the rose into my hand.
I declined, even more politely.
He tried to make himself clearer.
I got angrier.
He said "Do it as a dare."
I point-blank refused, and headed for my next class.
He blocked the doorway.
Loads of others were now more than a little interested.
I refused, even more politely than before, and tried to go for the other exit.
He ruined a good storm-out by blocking the other exit.
Others started yelling "TAKE THE FUCKING ROSE!"
I calmly and politely reiterated the fact that I hated the day.
He got discouraged.
I got out of there.

Seriously, what the fuck is that about? Is he deaf, or just an idiot? Must be idiocy, because every time I saw him for the rest of the day, all he did was sing All You Need Is Love. He's a romantic and a Beatles fan. Fucked if I know what's wrong with him.</flashback>

Enough of that. This year, thankfully, was a bit more tame. He did the same thing at work, only there were fewer people, fewer roses, and zero trouble. Ha! He learned his lesson quick.

It seems like a lot of people in this town are very unwilling to listen to new ideas. I've tried out Poet's Day on them, I've tried telling them that I'm unhappy with my ENTER score, I've preached to them (sometimes at considerable length) about the benefits of Linux, I've tried introducing them to more obscure (and delicious) music; I've tried explaining to them my views on February 14th. Needless to say, not one of these has succeeded. They're all either very closed-minded, or are too up themselves or scared to try new things. It sickens me. It really does.

Which is why I want to move to Melbourne.

</rant>

(The other time I had to show my face in public was at cricket training. Thankfully I was only there about 40 minutes and didn't get much of the junk I usually hear on Feb 14.)

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