Yesterday, I and my classmates wrote a Shakespearean sonnet in AP English, at the prompting of our teacher. Clearly, she wanted us to get into the spirit of Valentine's Day.

Being the philophobe I am, however, my sonnet deviated somewhat from the suggested (insert Latin phrase I can't put my finger on here)....

The Desperate English Student
Making Up Words, Mashing Images,
and Generally Doing Anything He Can to Stick to the Lousy Meter

12 February 2010

Glorigifications abound in the mist;
I would really like a salad ‘bout now.
If this cantaloupe heeds not my green grist,
I shall hokey-pokey with a brown cow.

Hark! The cantaloupe heeds said green grist. I
shall not hokey-pokey. What a shame. But
that means the world will end at midnight high!
I would really like a sal—OWW! MY BUTT!

Who shot this accursed pellet gun at
my posterior? The nerve of some folks.
Go fetch my plastic lightsaber (that
seems to be missing its batteries), folks!

I shall fend them off by sticking it up
my nose and to Port’gal I must fly up!

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