"Frank, I need to cut someone from the team. It won't necessarily be you, but you're one of the ones I'm considering."

It's been a hell of a year.

At the first team meeting of the year, we noticed the conspicuous absence of our throwing coach. Long story short, he was fired in a long, drawn out legal struggle that took 2.5 months to resolve, for reasons that were never explained. This didn't stop us. We trained hard all through the long, frustrating fall, and saw limited improvements in our technique. We got lucky, and quickly were able to hire one of the most knowledgeable coaches for hammer, shot, and disc in the United States, and possibly even the world.

Step forward to now. We've been training with our new coach for about a month. Unfortunately, he's decided that there are too many throwers for him to be able to do his job well.

Where do I fit into this? I am the lowly freshman. In addition to being the weakest guy on the team, I'm also the most technically raw and uncoached. Two weeks into this, he told me that he might cut me from the team, because I had a lower chance to do well then some of my teammates.

Luckily, the cuts came and passed, and I stayed on the team. However, what am I gaining right now? Coach barely pays attention to me, instead, paying attention to some of my more illustrious teammates. He knows more then I can shake a stick at, but that doesn't solve all of my problems all of the time.

Yesterday morning, I got a surprise phone call from my coach. If I don't improve drastically by June, I'm gone.

I know that I'll improve. I just wish for more patience from my coach, some more attention, and to not have this dark cloud over my head. I'm redshirting this entire year, so how I perform is not an issue. All I know is, I'm pulling 18 credits in college, practicing about 20 hours per week, and I have to worry each day about my future status as a track athlete.

I'm not paid enough to deal with this. Hopefully, the black cloud will lift soon.

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