I've heard about it, and I've tried to understand it. Why would anybody want to fake an orgasm? I can't figure it out. I've tried looking at it from different directions. No matter how I try to see it, it DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Let me give you some examples:

  • If you're having sex with someone, either (s)he cares whether or not you have an orgasm, or not. If they don't care, why are you faking it? They don't care! If they do care, they are probably going to want you to have one, so you just dug your own grave. Stupid.

  • You either don't want the person you're having sex with to be offended that you didn't come, or you don't care about their feelings. If you don't care, why fake? If you DO care about their feelings, you should 1) be close enough not to have to fake, and 2) let's face it, faking an orgasm is not really very considerate to anyone really. It's a lie. Simple as that. If you really care about someone, you don't shove a big fat lie in their face. It doesn't add up.

  • You do it to end the sex because you've had enough, or if the other person is waiting for you. If the other person is waiting for you, (s)he is considerate. Again: stupid, stupid, stupid! If (s)he is considerate, a very short discussion will clear things up: (s)he comes and then makes sure you do too. By faking, you've given up on an orgasm. If you've had enough: either you're with someone who cares for you, in which case faking shouldn't be necessary; (s)he cares about you and is receptive to your needs, or (s)he doesn't care for you, in which case they really don't give a rat's ass whether you come or not.

  • You're either in it for a relationship or for a one-night stand. If it's the one-night stand, why bother faking? So (s)he'll tell his/her friends how good you are in bed? You're good if you make him/her orgasm, not if you do. If it's for a long-term relationship, way to go! Great start to a relationship!

Sex is supposed to be mutual enjoyment. It is about closeness and intimacy. Where does faking come in?
As much as I liked Footprints' logical dissection of the faking issue, things are clearly not that simple in real life. People fake orgasms for many different reasons, and in many different ways. Instead of just describing a situation as “you want the other person to get it over with- is (s)he considerate?” flow chart kind of description and explanation, try putting yourself in the other person's pants. I mean, shoes. Instead of describing the various psychological pressures and motivations people have, I’ll try to give men a feeling of what I mean – I’m almost certain most women know exactly why other women fake, even if they don’t have to fake themselves.

Imagine yourself meeting a nice young lady. You spent some time together, had fun, and you’re both clearly attracted to each other. You have a couple of drinks and end up in bed with her. You’re having fun playing with her, and she with you, but you just can't get it up - you haven’t slept for over 24 hours, you’ve had a couple of drinks, and you’re tense because this is your first time in bed with the young lady.

At this point, most men will start feeling tense. The question “will I get it up?” is usually more than enough to keep it down. If you could only pretend it was up, even if you don’t really come, wouldn’t you?

Perhaps you wouldn’t. Perhaps you have the balls even if you don’t have the erection. But when a person’s in bed with someone they want to please, and start feeling unattractive and inadequate, faking isn’t a bad solution.
So – I agree with what must be Footprint’s basic idea – communication is one of the most important things in bed. However, the fact that someone fakes doesn’t mean they’re stupid/wrong. Faking on a regular basis in a steady relationship does, on the other hand, require thought at least about your sex life if not about your relationship or current mental state.

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