Excuse me sir, you're making a scene

If you have not heard this line at least once in your life, you have not lived. This is what you hear from the maître d' when you're being an asshole at a restaurant, or when you are throwing peanuts at dancers while at a ballet, or when the manager at Dunkin Donuts tries to calm you down after you find out that there are no fucking eclairs left. When you hear this, prepare to be thrown out of the establishment you are currently in because you are disturbing the other patrons.

To accomplish this feat, try ways to annoy people, being a bastard, or anything containing the word asshole.

20 ways to annoy a raver	How to attract the attention of wait staff	Fun ways to annoy your Chief in the US Navy	Creative ways of killing people
Stores that require you to check your bags at the door	10 Ways to irritate, annoy, and anger your cat	Talk to the hand	Am I gay?
People without spines annoy me.	Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived	How to Be a Complete Bastard	Too much bad poetry on E2
Every woman's fantasy	Social contract theory = Treat people the way you want to be treated	maître d'	The beautiful way that two people fit together
skins	Dissed by a five-year-old	Ways people avoid confronting political reality	Firing range
The Joys of Being a Negro	Eclair