I'm not certain if little girls play this game or not, but boys would all the time. It starts out as something innocuous, like a game of War
, playing with G.I. Joe
action figures, or something else involving toy guns.
Then someone says "bang! I shot you, you're dead!"
At this point we see a critical juncture of decision in the child. They have three main options. The first is to say "Oh, well I guess I better lay down a bit then."
and is about as likely as Barney
getting a Grammy
. Less than 1% will actually do this.
The second and more likely option is shouting "Nuh-uh!, I shot you first!"
whether or not they were even holding a 'gun'. Statistically I would say this makes up about 90% of the answers.
In a rare instance, perhaps less than 10% of the time, the child will stand stock still for a moment in thought, glance at the ground, then look up and around, no doubt contemplating the piercing stares of his fellow classmates. The dull roar of the other playground games
in the background, the screams of kids being deemed the dreaded "it
". Then, puffing up his chest he proclaims defiantly in a loud voice...
"I was wearing a bulletproof shield."
The gauntlet is thrown. The roar of surrounding kids suddenly gets very quiet, the shootist
winces as if physically struck, then glares back at his 'victim', licking his lips in thought... somewhere in the distance, a dog can be heard, howling. Raising his gun defiantly he fires again and says
"It's a laser blaster!"
Things have begun to get ugly quickly. Some of the more timid kids have already run to tell the teacher. Others have simply run...
"My shield's got mirrors, so it reflects back at you!"
A surprise parry and riposte! The child with the gun makes a leap to the side, laughing and tossing a pine cone at the other kid. The stress is too much for one girl, who faints. The others crowd in, forming a loose circle, staring suspiciously at the pine cone, then at the shooter expectantly.
"I dodged my laser beam, and threw a fire grenade at you!"
"My shield is fireproof!"
"I send missiles after you!"
"I've got anti-missile jammers!"
"I use a nuclear bomb!!"
"You still die! I use a 500 trillion megaton nuke!!!"
A horrified gasp emanates from the crowd... no one could survive a 500 trillion megaton nuke...
All hope is surely lost for the shooting victim, who suddenly sighs deeply, rolls his shoulders back and looks at the shooter and says calmly...
"I've got Everything-Proof Shields." and then walks away slowly, not looking back.
The crowd nods solemnly. It was a good fight. The boy with the shield
had done so well up until he used The Trump That Must Not be Spoken of
. The shooter is officially declared the silent winner, but the other kid has saved face by having the last word
. And thusly, the social pecking order
is maintained, and the balance of power between unlimited firepower and everything-proof shields is preserved once more.