Everything: In the Beginning
A history in 6 parts
by Lord Brawl and dannye, historians of the gel
One of the greatest tragedies in Everything History occured in the 16th-century. Later events such as the Everything 2 Civil War or the Great Purge of the Dmanites pale in ferocity next to this bloody part of Everything's past.
It was the year 1562. High in the Swiss Alps stood a secluded, ivy-encrusted monastery. Inside, the Abbot Callitus Nathaniel Oostendorp oversaw the enormous "Everything Project." The Project had been started by Pope Kurt himself, and Callitus was honoured to be entrusted with its execution.
Decades earlier, Pope Kurt had received a terrifying vision from heaven: Sometime during a mysterious event known only as Super Bowl XXXV, in a sinful Gomorrah known as "Miami", Armageddon would be unleashed by something called the "MTV half-time show". Pope Kurt had visions of explosions, unclad women, and a heathen named "Kid Rock". Clearly civilization was heading toward savagery at a breakneck pace. What could be done?
Pope Kurt decided that God wanted him to save mankind's knowledge. He gave this task to one of his most trusted Orders of monks, and the monastery's mighty task commenced. All of the monks within were soon pressed into service to support the Pope's grand vision: codification on scrolls of the entire vast sum of human knowledge before the coming Armageddon.
As word spread, monks of other Orders made pilgrimages from other lands to add their knowledge to the scrolls, incidentally helping themselves to the hospitality of the nearby villages. The Monastery slowly grew, and soon the soothing green ivy walls were punctured to make way for an unsightly addition. Surveying it, Callitus was pleased, yet at the same time he felt uneasy. Truly, what had the Pope's vision wrought?