Wolfgang is amazing. He has been there, by my side since I was 13. He has seen me go through phases, from my worst, to best, and back again. We have seen each other through relationships, fights with our parents, death, love, hate..
I realized I felt more for my friend last week. That the man I saw every day for hours, who knew my soul inside and out.. well.. I loved. And I was interested in more. I shut my insides up. I have a lot of close male friends
, and I am kind of brainwashed against the idea of having anything more than feelings of friendship
Last night he told me he wanted more. That he loves me
. That I am the nicest, meanest, coolest girl.
That I brought him a feeling he's never had before. That all my faults, which he knows very well.. he finds them amazing too. That when I wear make-up
I am hot, and that he finds me very attractive, but when I have no make-up, and am schlepping around in vendor t-shirts
and ducky flannel pajamas
.. I am even more beautiful.. because it's me.. it's real thing.. and that he loves it.. and finds it oh so amazing.
You have no idea what this means to me. He is brilliant, and kind, and such a good person. I trust him with my soul. I love him
. I have loved him for years. God forbid, a realtionship isn't what we should do, I know we will still be a part of each other's lives.. because we understand, want, and have this open honesty/communication thing going on. We could never let things get to a point where it would destory our friendship.
I am rambling. I am happy
. I have never felt this good before. This is so real. This is the type of love that is.. the thing you see movies about. Oi..