Employment Anti-Discrimination Rights Once Again Denied To Assholes
Assholes reply, "Yeah, well, fuck you."
fed up with employment discrimination
have been demanding fair treatment as of late, due to the record breaking advances made by African-Americans
, LGBT people
, and disabled
During a recent Supreme Court
trial, the LDA (that would be League of Douchebag
s and Asshole
s, a lobbyist
organization for the asshole community
) contends that assholes should not be discriminated in terms of employment, no matter how many other people see them as jerk
"You know that pathetic crippled prick who I see on the train
every morning? Found out he got a job the other day. If he can find work, so can I, and because I'm being shut down by anyone who interviews me just because I notice how thick their fucking unibrow
is, that shouldn't be a cause for me not to be hired," says Michael Kovawicz, a long-time member of the LDA.
Other notable incidents involved an asshole who was forced out of his job
because, in his own words, he "had it up to here with all this bullshit
about not being allowed to grab the ass of his coworkers
", and another asshole was denied employment because he let his interviewer know how big her tits
were, and how he wanted to place his genitalia
"This isn't fair," commented Chad Jones, "I can tear my friends' reputation
to little shits on the floor and walk around talking about how my female friends are stank
ing and they need to douche
in the bar, but this isn't acceptable in the work place? Other people who have jobs need to drink
The Vice Motherfucker
of the LDA, Dennis Leary
said, "we're gonna have a little sit-down with those fags
in the Supreme Court and we're gonna let them know that we won't be silenced in the workplace!"
The case reached a verdict of 5-4 against the LDA. Justice Scalia
remarks, "he called me an asswipe
, and I didn't think that was very nice, so I'm all against assholes in the workplace."
To whoever softlinked "plagiarism", please google search any text from this writeup. It is owned by me. Thank you muchly.