As Edward Scissorhands is the namesake of this particular drinking game, an idea of how exactly it is played probably comes pretty quickly to mind. However, for those of you not young at heart, I will expound upon the method and strategy of this particular brand of inebriation.

Equipment and Setup

  • Two forty ounce bottles of your favorite malt liquor
  • Roll of thick tape, preferably duct tape
  • One large bladder per participant
  • (optional, but highly preferable) One person to sit out and document the night's events

Having assembled these crucial pieces, open the two bottles and proceed to graft the bottles onto each hand with the duct tape. This is the time where having that extra person really helps, as taping bottles to your hands is really difficult with only one hand free.

It is also recommended that you make it extremely difficult for yourself to do anything stupid. If possible, turn off the phone, make sure the pets are fed, and all breakable objects are nowhere in sight.


There is but one rule to this game: You cannot remove the bottles from your hands for any reason until you completely finish both of them. For better or for worse, that means that you'll have to enlist the help of that extra person in talking on the phone, going to the restroom, or changing the channel on the television. If that singular rule is objectionable, you might as well just drink two forties without getting tape all over your hands.


If you finish both bottles, consider yourself a winner.

This game will get you drunk. You have been warned.

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