This is a traditional recipe of how to cook a duck with vodka.
- a whole duck
- actually Koskenkorvan viina
(Kossu) would be better, but Vodka
is just fine.
The amount is optional but at least one bottle is recommended
First, put the vodka in a freezer for a couple of hours. Take a nap or something in the
meantime. Then, take a good taste of the vodka to check the quality. That should get you
in the right mood for cooking. Then, start to make a fire. (This works best outdoors. If you're indoors you
might wanna use the oven.) This will take a while, so take some vodka in order to avoid
dehydration. Then, remove the duck's feathers. Drink some vodka (Hey, this is beginning
to taste good!). Put your hand inside the duck,
and use your other hand to take the vodka bottle. Take a zip of vodka. Remove the duck's internal or-*burp*-gans. Now, if
you've managed to do all this, you've ear.. earned yourshelf a nice glass of vodka.
(Who the hell has been drinking my booze?!) Ok. Now. (Concentrate.) Take onions.. no, tomatos..es and cut them. Don't cut your finger, behause it
hurtss. Take some of thaat ffine, ffine vodka.. Now, take shome toma.. oni..ons..
or whatever, who gives a flying duck, and throw 'em in the pot. Pour shome vodka in to the pot.. (what the
hell am I shaying?).. in to your throat, I mean. A thiss point you probhabley don't taste
anything, but. So it's no use thasting youer pot.. er.. cookings. Besides, the fire ish
probhab..hab..ly out by now. So, thake the toss and duck it as far ash you can. Now, you have..
errm..two, yesh, two options. You can drink the rest *burp* of the vodka or if thar is nothing
left, go to a bar. (If they let you in!)
You can also do this the easier way, which would be drinking the vodka, but that doesn't
have anything to do with cooking a duck.