Dream Log: October 17, 2002

My college was having a big party, and everyone was allowed to bring their friends and family members along. Before the party started, I received a phone call from Jack. He said, "I love you. We have to meet up. I love you."

I said, "Um, okay. I love you too," and hung up the phone.

My sister informed me that my father called earlier, saying he was sorry for the way he treated me the last time we communicated, and that he wanted to come and see me. My mom thought it would be a good idea, and I invited him to the college party.

I was rollerblading through the party-goers, surprisingly realistically. I bumped into people, knocked myself and other things and people onto the floor, and occasionally did an amazing turn that shocked everyone around me. At one point I was talking to my friend Lori, and Jack's ex-girlfriend Erin. Erin was pregnant and a lot of people at the party were making fun of her. Jack came up and grabbed her, and danced with her, saying he didn't care. He said he loved her. This shocked everyone, because Jack never says he loves anyone.

As Jack and Erin danced away, I took Lori aside and told her about the phone call in which Jack told me he loved me and really wanted to see me. We didn't know what to make of his sudden transformation, and I eventually skated away. Some of my friends were passing out 'dreamvirus magazine' flyers. I looked towards the door just in time to see my dad enter. He looked tired. I skated over to him and said, "Hey, do you want to see Jack? Let's go find him."

I skated through the crowd, my dad following me, but we never found Jack. I said, "Let's go back to the door. Everyone is dancing in the main areas, and it's more quiet over there." So we went back and sat on a wooden bench. We didn't say anything to each other. Then, all of a sudden, my dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a gun, which he pointed at my mother, who was standing at the opposite end of the hall. She didn't notice this and I simply sat there, stunned, notknowing what to say. Just as I was about to try and knock the gun out of his hand, he put it back into his pocket.

I stood up and looked down at him, angrily. "You never change. I hate you."

I skated away, but a few minutes later the music was turned off and a large crowd was gathering where my dad and I had been sitting. I panicked, thinking my dad had shot my mother after all. I was crying when I got through the crowd, but it turned out to be just a fight between two students. My dad was nowhere to be seen. I was so stressed out that I sat down and sobbed. A teacher sat next to me and asked what my problem was. I told her about my father and the gun. She said, "You think your family is fucked up? I'm sleeping with my sister."

I replied, "Well, at least she never pointed a gun at you."

At that point I saw my mother coming through the crowd. I shouted, "Ma!" and jumped up and hugged her, sobbing. I woke up crying.

I had a series of dreams. One was based in high school and I was trying to ask a girl out. This then switched to me being in some world where zombies or something were trying to get to me. I was trying to get away by crossing a busy highway. Several times I should have been hit by a car but was not. I was in a house, which I think was the F's parent's. I had a coat and wanted to put it somewhere so I went to the third floor and looked for empty rooms. Found one and put the coat inside. Went downstairs. Some time passes and I go upstairs to get the coat when I am attacked by some sort of ghost. It put hooks into my hands, but I got away. That's when the dream ends.

The second dream had me in a reunion type setting. I was talking with several people from high school. One person I can remember is HC. We do whatever for a bit and it's time to pay for the evening. I get to the place to pay and chat with some people and pay with a 50 dollar bill. The total was 25 dollars. I get my change when one of the girls asks to see the newspapers I have. I tell them that I am going to scan the death notices. They insist and I show them. A guy named Troy then asks if I wanna go drinking at a bar. I say that it's cheaper to drink at home and he announces that I'll be drinking at a nursing home.

I'm in a bar, a restaurant type place kind of like the hangouts in early 90s sitcoms about teenagers, but much darker, and it feels as though I know this place. I am there with people who I suppose to be my friends, although none of them look anything like any of my actual friends, and I never once call them by name.

All but one.

I'm sitting with my friends, smoking cigarettes, bullshitting, what I suppose we consider usual, when someone comes over and begins to insult us. It isn't as though he is a complete outsider, he is "one of our friends," although not one any of us considered to be a good friend.

He is the one person in the dream who still has the personality and likeness of someone I know and slightly dislike in real life. I will not say his name, but will call him Big Al, as this is what we refer to him as anyway.

I remember knowing Big Al's full, real name in the dream, and saying it once or twice. He tells us how he raped this girl he dated, someone we know, and this upsets me, so I go over to the table he is now sitting at and proceed to grab his genitalia hard, muttering something really mean under my breath.

This would be almost normal if it weren't for what comes next.

The cops show up, and they are looking for me. I am beckoned from across the room to sit at a table for questioning. I glare at Big Al and start for the table. When I reach it, two of my friends are already there: a very attractive, alternative looking boy, and a mousy girl sitting across from him. I sit down next to the boy, and am very careful not to touch him although the urge strikes me, because I know the cops are on us for rape.

I'm not sure why I know this, because I haven't raped anyone, but I know that my act of revenge on Big Al was what spawned it.

My male friend and I look at each other and laugh. A cop dressed in normal clothes who resembles the man who was our waiter a few minutes before a little too much to be coincidence sits down next to the girl across from us and smirks at me. He begins his rant, and I continually interrupt him and scream at him, swear at him, as I obviously know I am innocent and don't care what happens to me. I have never yelled at a cop before.

At some point, he is explaining how and why I am in trouble, and somehow the mousy girl is sitting on his lap, and the boy next to me (and myself) is seething with anger at the cop's hypocrisy.

But he raped her, I know we both want to scream. And you have an underrage girl on your lap, so why should we listen to you? But we don't get a chance. I have been chainsmoking up to this point, and now the cop smirks his ugly smirk again and informs me that it is only 6:30. This amazes my friend and I, and we look at each other and laugh.

At this point, I wake to loud rap music playing a few doors down the hall. I growl, remembering the cop and Big Al in my dream, and look over at the clock, which reads 6:30 p.m.