The first half of the dream was like a movie, I knew what was happening and could see events unfolding, but I wasn't participating. I dreamed there was a stalker on the Wells campus, I could see him climbing up the inside of our very vaginal ditch in a space suit that was a lot like Total Recall. Which ever security guard was on duty at the time went out to get the guy and make him leave because he wasn't supposed to be there. The security guard was in a space suit too. But it turns out the stalker wasn't actually stalking a Wells student, but the security guard. (The plot thickens!)

The stalker and the security guard chased each other all over campus until they were in the woods past the athletic fields on top of a radio control tower which I'm certain isn't actually there. At this point the stalker started talking really dirty to the security guard about the security guard's first time with his wife and all sorts of terrifying homosexual straight fantasy shit. The security guard lost his temper and pushed the stalker off the platform of the radio control tower.

This is where I entered the action. The two men landed in a restaurant kitchen, the stalker on the ground, the security guard cowering in the corner. I was kneeling by the stalker, we were both under a stainless steel wire shelving unit. It was dark. No one else was around. It was my job to kill the stalker, who was not too healthy but still talking dirty and driving the security guard crazy. My only weapons for killing the stalker were really ugly pieces of seventies glassware, mixing bowls and casserole dishes and so on. I kept breaking them on the guy and he just kept talking. Finally I really lost it, and with a large flat green glass casserole dish held over my head aimed at the guy's face I sang/screamed "Die Die Die my Darling..." and slammed the casserole dish so hard on the dude's head that it broke and blood poured out of him. His mouth was moving, but that's only 'cause he was crazy, no sound was coming out because he was dying.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the realization that there was no peephole on my bedroom door so that anyone could knock and in order to find out what was on the other side I'd have to open it. Then I laughed because for no good reason I'd dreamed I was inappropriately applying the Misfits to what I was doing. At least I got to save the day in my dream, that hardly ever happens. Neat.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.