For some reason, I'm trying to sneak into York Assembly Rooms
. The entrance is guarded by a stocky man in a green uniform
, like the ones that stand outside New York
hotels in films.
When the man is distracted,I sneak in. Inside looks like an empty office
complex - grey carpet tiles
, and huge hessian-weave
breakers blocking off the far end of the room. I wave at a few white-overalled technicians
, which seems to satisfy them that I'm here with permission, then slip between two of the breakers.
changing rooms, sprawlingly vast and totally empty. I open a few lockers
and find nothing. Someone has smashed a few of the wooden benches
in here. I run to where the pool should be.
Row Z of York University
Central Hall, the seats right at the centre back. The view forward is blocked off by more hessian-weave breakers, but here with me is a large group of people being taught The Pirates of Penzance acapello
by a dignified woman in a white sweater. Being a Gilbert & Sullivan
fan, I stay to watch, hoping no-one sees me. When the woman tries to teach one of the men one of Frederick's trickier lines, I start singing without realising it, and end up holding a very high note for ages, before realising everyone's staring at me and laughing. One of the alto
s is beautiful
Cut to Swift's Hill
, near Laurie Lee
's house. I'm running down, laughing, with afforementioned alto and a schnauzer
dog. I slip, tumble, then roll down the hill for what seems like minutes. I stand up at the bottom, seemingly unharmed, and open my backpack
to find that all the lint
I had in there has formed a fuzzy waistcoat
, which I put on.
Then the alto runs up to me, and we hug.
I say: "What do you think, we give it a try?"
She says: "I don't know... I'm not sure if we're both freesome."
Somehow, I knew she said 'freesome' rather than 'threesome'. I felt confused, then woke up.
Far too vivid, with too many memories of York