I arrived late
to a family function that was being held on a private
boat of sorts. You
were already there, talking to my sisters
, though IRL, I don't even get along well enough with women to have "sisters," but that's a different story.
You and I exchanged verbal greetings, and there was the usual excitement in your eyes, but you didn't pounce me, you stayed where you were. Nothing in your body language indicated there were any issues, this is just your way. You are comfortable just existing with me, and you put on your social suit for everyone else. But...
You continued a conversation you were having with one of my sisters. I talked with someone else, keeping a longing eye on you, wanting you to pay attention to ME, your girlfriend. I knew we'd curl up later when we got home, but I still was wanting the calm, smooth conversation you have with friends. The price of seeing your interior was losing the bullshit Leo exterior, I guess. I know this is a good thing, that you show me who you really are...but it's hard for me to accept that loss since I tend to be superficial, and am used to judging a person and a relationship by looks, conversation, etc.
Five minutes later you were standing behind another sister, hands massaging her shoulders. Good conversation with her, it seemed, as your eyes were smiling. We still hadn't even hugged hello, and you're being physically close with her.
You weren't sleeping beside me when I woke up today, and I'm feeling the lonliness even more. A lot has transpired since the last time we saw each other, and I'm craving a chance to touch base and reconnect with you, to look into your eyes again, to tell each other everything's gonna work out. Yesterday I missed you so much I was nearly crying on the phone. *sigh*
I can break or change anyone's rules except for my own, it seems.