Dream Log: June 7, 2000

OK, I don't remember all that much of this one, but it's another weird one (see yesterday). I've got to figure what it is that I'm eating.

I'm in Seattle (I think it was Seattle, because I was with my friend Katie and that's where she lives). At this point, I'm alone. I park my car and get out (I think I'm lost). I see this fat limo parked on the street. The door is open, it's idling, but no one's in it. Some guy says to me, "It's Peter Gammons car. He said you could drive it." So I do. I'm driving down the street (which actually looks like Davis Square, but I still think it's Seattle), and again, I pull over. I ask a guy directions to somewhere (can't remember where), but the seat belt mechanism and the window don't work right, so I stop the car and get out to talk to him. Despite the fact that the car isn't running, and I have the keys, two kids manage to steal another set of keys off me and take the limo. Now I'm pissed, because that's not even my car - it's Peter Gammons'!

So I jump into my old car and start chasing them. I don't know my way around, but luckily my friend Katie is in the car directing me. We keep following them out of the city and into a park with REALLY GREEN GRASS. Greenest grass I've ever seen. There are all of these Japanese-style houses, too. We make a U-Turn, and drive back into the city. We see the two kids walking, and I try to run them down. They scramble through this gate with a few other kids, and I skid the car to a stop parallel with the gate (a pretty cool move).

I get out of the car, and walk up to the kids, who are sitting smugly at a table, drinking soda. "Where the fuck is the car!" I demand. Everyone pretends not to know. I see the catcher for the baseball team I coach. "Matty, where's the car?" I ask him. He tells me the answer (again, can't remember what it is), and all of his friends are pissed at him for telling me.

Um, that's all I remember. Hey, it was three hours ago.

• I was in a dark room, playing paintball against one opponent. I had the height advantage but my opponent was quite a good shot. I remember being quite terrified when I was shot at. When I woke up, I was suprised it was a dream. Anyway, we played round after round. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. Eventually, we both walked off the place of combat. I caught a glimpse of my opponent. It was Lindsay. We looked at each other, and before I knew it, we were making out.




• I was at the mall and I bumped into girl X and a friend of hers. I didn't say much and continued my activites.. In the mean time, I took a few tests. When I saw X again, I told her how I did on my tests. I got an award in singing and best overall in reading. "Strange," I told her, "I thought those were my worst subjects." She asked if she could go take a ride in my car and if we could go somewhere afterword.

  I told her, "Sure, but let me get my knifes back first. I lent them to a store to put on display." I went to that store and got my two knifes back. Right after I left the store, I saw my chess set on the floor, mixed with about 2 other sets. I carefully seperated my pieces from the rest by checking the initials on the bottom. While I was seperating them, X came to me. She said she would be leaving with her friend and that I could meet her later.

X is someone I know, but choose not to name.

- / +

Some of them were bad guys and some of them were good guys gone bad and some of them were just after me and I was the only one who knew the difference and I was going to kill them all. I had a machine gun at the parade and I started shooting. Anyone who came toward me was an enemy, and that kept coming toward me. If they'd all turned their backs they would have been safe.

Sound was cut off for me. I did not hear the shots I fired nor what was coming out of all the open mouths. Touch was cut off too - I did not feel the recoil or heat of the gun. I was in a separate spot, watching myself do these things. I think I killed Janet Reno, but only because she came after edebroux. Body after body fell, noiselessly. I watched them only long enough to make sure they would not be getting up again. I did not like to see the blood.

Later, when I had remembered more of my true self. My mother talking to me, alone in a room. "Did you know what you were doing?" How could I explain to her that I had known, but it hadn't been me? I fiddled with the white ribbon with a border of gold. White ribbon, border of gold. White ribbon, border of gold. It was all I wanted to look at, forever.

Dusik caught me stealing quarters. Edebroux was in the van. The new quarters commemorated all kinds of crazy shit, like vice-presidents, and Saturn.

Working in a shelter for kids and dogs. The kids were watching a video put out by Playboy, but it was all Halloween animation shorts. I kept an eye on it in case it turned dirty. I was across the room finishing reports. I couldn't believe how little information the state required we keep. The psych evaluations for the kids included a section for dreams, but we had only 11 characters to explain what troublesome dreams the child had experienced. I complained to Juliana Margulies the next time she passed the table. She was in a pissy mood and didn't want to hear it. "The state just wants us to tell them everything's fine," she said.

I gave up on the kids' forms and started on the dogs. We had two new ones and they were shaken, had been running for a long time. What's your name? I asked gently. She wouldn't answer me, sat quivering next to me. "She's Stella Marie. I'm Monty." said the other one. Stellamarie, I like that. I ran my hand down Stella's back and she licked me once, cautiously. Her eyes were a beautiful pale pink, like opal.