Dream Log: June 2, 2001

Life was normal, I and my friends walked by the city and told each other opinions about the cars there. There was some sort of construction work going on at a parking lot, so we went there to see what it was. I dont remember exactly the details, but someone who I definately didnt like came to mess with me. He was asking for a fight, and soon got it. He was slightly taller than I, but about equally skilled so it was a long fight. Slowly, I got the upper position and managed to beat a long series of punches to his face. He staggered back and fell on the ground, but I didnt have time to enjoy my victory because a large powerarmored guard was coming around the construction area. I pulled my friend to a large pipe that was hanging downwards from the construction and asked him to help me up into it. I managed to catch some sort of powerup from inside the pipe, but after that we had to run, and I dont remember anything for a while..

I had obtained an exoskeleton, but it seemed that there was more going on in the city than I had expected. Heavily armored and armed soldiers moved everywhere, few tanks blocked some of the city streets, fires here and there, and everyone was talking about a Mecha attack. I got to the bus station, and since the army seemed to have something against me too, I decided to stay hidden as well as I could. I saw a blue Mecha with green shoulders at the construction area, but there were several tanks those had shot harpoons to capture it. I noticed that one of my friends was in it, so I'd might need to help him. My blue exoskeleton had artifical muscle structures, and in addition of making me stronger, they also allowed faster movement than my own muscles, so I made a plan of attacking the leftmost tank first and tearing its hatch open. Before I could do anything, the Mecha managed to take a grip of all the wires holding it, and threw the tanks into one pile before pulling the wires off itself. I walked to it, and said "Good work, I could have beaten the tanks too." He had to go somewhere, so I decided to hide into one of the structures. As I stepped in, someone with a powerarmor flailed his hand around me to strangle me. The servos of his armor would have easily chrushed me, but I managed to get away from his grip, and saw that he had a minigun in his other hand. I jumped at him and tried to hit him, but he quickly moved his hand in front of him and grabbed my fist. He lowered his minigun to lay against the wall and I heard his voice crackle through the armors speaker. "So, you want to sort it out fair? Fine, like the real men should fight their wars." He released my fist, so I tried to quickly hit him with my other hand, but he managed to block it efficiently. He tried to hit me with the large fist of his armor, but though it was almost as quick as my exoskeleton, I managed to narrowly dodge it. I tried to hit him twice, but he was very skilled so he managed to dodge one of them and got only a mild prod agaisnt his stomach. He swung his right arm, but I managed to block it with mine, and then quickly hit him twice into his headpiece before he recovered and started blocking my hits again. I tried to beat him as quickly as I could, but he started hitting back at me so both blocked each others hits by hitting at each others fists. While blocking my hits, he said "I remember.. that puch. It was you at the construction work, you're using the same desperate strategy.". I speeded up and shouted back "I was NEVER worse than you!", and managed to hit him once again. He pulled his hand back and managed to hit me hard, but because of the exoskeleton the impact only hurled me in the air against a staircase, which breaked from the hit. I got up, took a few steps at him, and quickly jumped up against the roof and threw me down against his head with my arms, delivering a hard kick against his headpiece. He staggered, but soon rushed at me angrily while I jumped a volt over him. It took him longer to turn than from me, so I spun around and hit him into neck with both hands, striking a weak point in his armor and making him scream in pain. He backed against me and tried to chrush me against the wall, but fortunately my exoskeleton was strong enough so I only hurt myself slightly while the wall behind me shattered. His armor was quick but clumsy, so he couldnt reach his back, and I managed to get a good grip of his headpiece without him reaching me. I couldnt strangle him, so I just held him from the neck with my left hand while beating him in the back of his neck with my right, slowly twisting the metal supports inside while he tried to shake me off. At the final hit, his voice turned into a gurgle and the armor fell with my enemy dead inside it.

I got out from the house, but a blue Mech was waiting for me. It had a tall torso like a Mecha, but its knees turned backwards, it had two huge machineguns bolted to its arms, and two missile racks on its shoulders. Its head shape was from a T-Rex, complete with strong fangs and large jaw servos. A voice from a loudspeaker said "So, the fool lost the fight, huh? But now, you're going to bow for your superior!". I ran back to the house to get the minigun, and just got out before the Mech sweeped the whole upper floor of the house away with its left arm. It started turning its torso, so I decided to run for cover and shoot it later, which was the right choise since its two autocannons soon teared plate-sized holes into the asphalt. I knew I wasnt safe behind the house either, so I ran around it while the Mech turned while firing a long series of fist-sized bullets through the house. I managed to get to its side so I opened fire, but the bullets didnt even scratch its surface as it turned to face me again. This time, it fired a burst of missiles, but I started running down the road so they hit the ground behind me, still close enough so the pressure threw me forward and on my stomach. I quickly got up and ran to an unusually large ditch. The Mech walked after me, but another large thing approached my position. It was my friend in his Mecha, and it got the attention of the Mech, making it turn its torso toward it. I tried to shout to my friend "Use the flamethrower! Mech gets overheated easily!" He heard me, but wasnt yet close enough so he fired the Mech with some projectile weapon, hitting it hard enough to make a notable dent on its upper jaw. The Mecha got to the range of flamer, but suprisingly the Mech had a freezethrower on its bottom! It fired a cold beam against the Mecha, which apparently snuffed out the flamer. The Mecha was slowing down, so I lifted a fallen billboard to block the beam, and though it was freezing my arms, I thought it was only way to give the Mecha time to get warmed up and use the flamer. I tried to shout to my friend, but the pilot of the Mech answered me "No use, your friend will be out from the battle for a long while!". The Mecha didnt seem to move, and the Mech turned to face me again, so I jumped down to the ditch while the Mech fired its missiles again. I hit the ground in the middle of the opposite wall of the ditch, but quickly jumped backwards against the wall opposite to that so the missiles didnt have time to change their course. The missiles threw dirt into the air, but before the dust settled, the Mech tried to jump on me. I ran a few steps ahead of it to avoid being chrushed, but it turned its torso down to aim at me. It wasnt flexible enough to fire down in that sharp angle, so its autocannons only hit the dirt. The Mecha started turning around, but I managed to run between its legs and climb up from the ditch. On this side of the ditch, there were several automatic turrets those had a few meters long metal hull and a rotating head at the end of it. I jumped behind the hull of one turret, and as the Mech somehow got up from the ditch, it noticed that I had hidden somewhere in the turret field. The head of the turret was at the end of the hull, so it only turned 180 degrees and couldnt shoot at the Mech, while it shouted "How pathetic! Dont you know that stationary guns are made to protect rocks and flowers, while mobile weapons are made for real mass destruction?". The Mech circled around the turrets rear, while I crawled under its head on the opposite side of it to avoid being seen by the Mech. It didnt notice me so it continued walking deeper into the field, while I tried to call my friend about where he was. The Mech occasionally fired its autocannons against the turrets in attempt to drive me out from my hidingplace, and my friend said on the phone that he was at the repairbay, and that I'd just have to handle the Mech myself. I wondered if he had ANY idea how hopeless this was, but I woke up..

So, last week I spent shabbos at my teacher's house. Her son was there, and he had a friend over. And I dont remember the friend's name. But I dreamt that he was driving me home from said teacher's house. Someone I know form school, Hadassah, was also in the car. And I was flirting a bit with the guy driving me, hoping he'd make a move on me so I could rebuff him (cruel, I know). He dropped me off at my mom's house, or rather, in the middle of her block- the house is at the end. It was nighttime. The three of us got out of the car, in the halo of the streetlamp. I took the guy's hand, and Hadassa- thinking it was just a friendly gesture- said something to effect of "Him and not me?" and took my hand. We walked towards the house.

I was with Everythingers. We were all going down an escalator. There were 3 newbies there- all young, observant, Jewish guys, wearing kippot. One of them asked another how old he was, and the other, by way of calculating the answer, began, "Well, I went to Israel when I was 17..." At the bottom of the escalator, which I may have ran down, I fell so that I was lying flat on my back. I was afraid my hair would get caught in the escalator and pulled under. So I reached out my hand to the man standing over me- one of the newbies- but he didn't help me upp, he just walked on. I guess he was shomer negiyah. I yelled out- "all the white people on Everything are Jews!"- and walked off towards one of the chatterbox rooms. There were of bunch of these, throughout the larger hall we were standing in, and each rom was for noders of a different denomination. This room was for the Jews. There were a bunch of people there, including Sima, the director of senior Yachad. I was tremendously hyper, and said so as I tried to jump onto the metal examination table in the middle of the room. I tried but I couldn't get onto it on the first jump.

In the big hall outside, there was some discussion of user names. Someone had chosen, as a name and username for his/her newborn baby, a name which was not in words at all, it was visual- a collection of colors, little pellets, maybe candies, poured into a tube. Everyone applauded this choice.

I was in a bathroom. It was very dirty. Another person I know from school, Lisa, came in and started complaining about something. Someone came out of a stall and I went into it and sat down on the toilet. On the inside of the stall door was a poster with a picture of Maimonedes on it. It also had a description of his work. It called him "Commander, or Commandre" Maimonedes. And it listed about 5 Jewish historical figures whose ancestors had been saved by the Maimonedes, in his medical capacity.

Dreams, dreams are wonderful things that cause so many emotions to arise and to be released so you won't blow up in the real world.

I had just arrived at school, and the bell was going to ring soon to tell me that I had to go to class. The problem was, I didn't know what class I was supposed to go to. I reached into my bag to get my cell phone to call home and ask my mom to read my schedule out for me, but the problem was, I didn't have my cell phone, no my wallet. I did have a few dollars in my pocket but there was no payphone around. Then, I saw Lynda walking in the hallways and I ran up to her. She was freaking out too, apparently registration for classes started the night before and neither of us new about it, and now we were at school completely clueless. I was worried that I wouldn't get my classes so I ran around looking for a computer. I couldn't use the regular ones because I needed my library card no. to use them and obviously I didn't have the wallet I carried it in with me. So I had to go to the foreign exchange room and use their computers. I saw down at a table and looked at the computer. Everything was in Chinese and I can't read Chinese even though I am Asian. I grew up in the States and Canada. Well I just try to memorize the English menu because they are exactly alike and I work my way through it. The people sitting right next to me are Chinese, two guys and a girl. They are speaking in Chinese and I can understand what they are saying and they are making fun of me, thinking I can't understand. I turn around in my chair and get up and I start ranting at them about how rude it is and everything. And especially to the girl who's new and I was like "You'll never fit in with an attitude like that!!!!" And then she started crying. I was sooooo mad, they were making fun of me so I had to do something instead of hitting what I usually do.

Well I did get my schedule to print out so that was solved, then I went to the cafeteria because I had some time to spend. I sat down at a table and Cleo was there with another guy. We sat and talked while a little further off we saw another table full of our friends and Anna Kournikova? They were right next to the field that were holding games right now and Chris was in them. It was funny because he looked so tired. Anyway, I was staring at the other table and was like, "Oh they're not asking us to join because they're too cool for us, they're hanging out with Anna Kournikova!" (Though in reality I don't like the girl at all). The day ended when I went home.

The next day before going to Cabaret I was at Nastinka's house and her brother and long time girlfriend were married and had a baby. It was wierd. I was driving with a couple of my friends to go watch Cabaret again. It was our second time and they were back in town. Then, when we were sitting down I said to Natalie, "My mom doesn't know where I am right now, I just told her we were going out to coffee. Why are we watching Cabaret again when I could've spent my money to watch Rent? I haven't seen Rent yet you know and it's in town. Where's Cassie? She would kill us if she knew we went to watch Cabaret without her."

After the show I called Cassie up after looking on her homepage and she had a bunch of MUDs and MUSHes listed, I was like, why are you on MUDs Cassie? She was like, the cab is right around the corner and it brings me to the cafe with the computers. I never thought anything of it at the time, but in my dream she was living in an apartment in downtown, which in real life she isn't. She tells me "I always make people make a giant line up and wait forever. It's funner to have people watch while you play the same game that they want to play." But I'm like, you're on a faster connection at home, why bother? And she was like, I don't know.... Eh?

Later on that night I was at home and Chloe and Phillip from Days were at my house, they were in character. My mom was home too, same for a couple of my friends. Different ones this time. Well in the middle of it, I had to go upstairs to get my stuff from my computer because Quinn was using my laptop. Phillip follows me up and does something rather rude, well I found rude, he threw a piece of paper (garbage) into my drawer and spits on the floor. I get really angry and try to open his eyes with his possessiveness over Chloe and how he's screwed and should actually help out his mother and seek the advice of both his parents instead of being a spoiled brat. He went off and cried to my mother and I told Chloe to just dump his ass, he's a psycho. Everyone thought I was being mean except for one of my friends and she was just cooking or something in my kitchen. We were in a hurry to go somewhere so I went back up to finish getting my stuff and then we went out.

Sigmund Freud would have had a field day. One of my dreams last night was that I had a snake for a pet. A long and skinny non-poisonous snake of the garter variety. Some of my weirdest dreams are those dreams when I am in bed trying to sleep. This time it was made even weirder by the fact that my pet snake was in bed sleeping with me.

In another dream I was attending a Smashing Pumpkins concert in San Diego, California. I'm not sure why I knew I was there in San Diego, I've never been there in real life, but in this dream I was in the middle of a long stretch of following the Pumpkins around the country during a concert tour (the fact that the Pumpkins broke up last December notwithstanding). The concert was in a baseball-type stadium and I had terrible seats where I couldn't even see the stage from where I was sitting. After the concert ended I started trying to find a friend of mine who I was supposed to meet after the show when someone called out my name behind me. It was Chris R., a kid I went to grade school with and who I haven't seen or thought much about since high school (about ten years ago now). Still, I recognized him on sight, he still had the same haircut he did in grade school. We shook hands and I noticed his right hand was deformed, all swollen and twisted out of shape. I forgot about my other friend and Chris led me to some sort of restaurant inside the stadium where two other people from my grade school class (Steve L. and Mike W.) who I also hadn't seen for 10 years were sitting in a booth. Both still had the same haircuts as well, but these two guys didn't recognize me, which pissed me off to no end. Steve was sitting with a short blond somewhat overweight girl. I thought that they were a perfect match for each other, Steve being short and overweight as well. In another set of seats nearby were a row of people dressed in late 80's heavy metal black t-shirts and prototypical 80's heavy metal hair. None of these people in particular were from my high school past, except for the shirts they were wearing and their scraggly hair.

I dreamed that you were painting again. (Why did you ever stop? They were so beautiful...) I dreamed that you were painting hot and strong, in primary colors, and that you were mad; both angry and insane, you were mad in every sense of the word. You were painting fast, one dozen canvases in one night: all beautiful and strange, and so out of keeping with your muted browns and dramatic sense of grace.

You did not want to explain them to me when I asked.

They resembled something else in my mind, somehow. I told my other friend about it, my one-time/sometimes lover -- about how the vibrant blue and yellow and red coalesced into the view of the city he had given me long ago. It was as if you were working on the very same piece, from different regions of my mind: from different times and places and entirely too similar ways of making me want to understand your art as a part of my violent love. I told you about it, too, as you were rising to leave. But as always, you left anyway, and did not turn around.

I see that you’re all the same. All facets of the same point in my dream, all manifestations of what I want to see. You work a feathered brush of poems over a broken page as I relive you, over and over and over, swearing all the while that I’ve forgotten. You can’t forget the part that’s in your head. A new face will come to resume the shape of the vision.

I see that you're all the same.

(You're all a part of me.)

Waking up this morning was very difficult. It was only a dream...

I had gone into a well-to-do clothes shop (which strangely only sold late 17th century clothes). I thought I was looking for a pair of corduroy pants, and a nice jacket. The shop assitants all ignored me until I flashed my credit card (which even though is some lowly visa card, I claimed was a Platinum American Express card), promising to buy heaps of stuff.

After a little bit, I realised I was standing in leather pants. They felt very comfortable, but not very (in my opinion) stylish. They were more like chaps than pants, and required me to wear a codpiece. Even though I agreed that in my dream they looked ACE, and all the store assitants told me so, When I left they were very difficult to move in and I soon took them off.

Next thing i know there is 2 other couples with me, necking in a train. One of the men left, and all the girls disappeared, as the train pulled up at the station.

i know more happened, but i can't remember anymore. I'll add to it as i think of it.

I was both watching, and innocent-bystandering in, a movie. It was about a young supermodel "throwing her life away on drugs". In the penultimate scene, the model, in her fancy digs, receives a visit from her agent, who is attempting to confront her about her multi-drug habits. The model's response is to disappear into some room, get high on something(s), and reappear, face covered in Mimi makeup, visage scrunched à la Jenny McCarthy-style mugging for the cameras (it looked just like that -- Jenny in Mimi's grotesque blue mascara, etc.), and do a parodic, bumbling, defiant, runway "walk" in the kitchen.

The last scene, and the young supermodel, for some reason, is suddenly now a male model (still super-), and he's outside his apartment building in Boston after the visit from the agent. It's a winter morning, slush on the ground and streets. The model's with a couple of buddies, and they're about to go off joyriding or something, with the young John Goodman-looking member of the trio behind the wheel. The Goodman figure attempts to start off by doing a donut, but the car barely budges, stalling in the middle of the street, where it gets rear-ended by another car.

Then the cars, and the two buddies, are inexplicably gone. We're left with the model, and a narrator's voiceover (speaking for, or as, the director of this docudrama), with the text of the narration also scrolling up the screen, in part explaining what I already knew -- the model, in real life, had had a wisdom tooth knocked out in the collision, and his failure to find it in the slush of the streets had left his face disfigured, ending his modeling career. And here, I'm no longer a fly on the fourth wall, but I'm in the street, bending down to pick up the lost wisdom tooth behind the model's back, as he goes walking away, and I can feel that my own mouth is missing the tooth. The narrator/director continues about how the model walked several miles through the city that morning, barefoot in the slush, in search of the lost tooth, failing to find it; the model's now offscreen, and there's this first-person view -- the camera ambling down the slushy sidewalks of the Back Bay, circa 1968, the pavement briefly interrupted by a picture of Red Auerbach in the Herald. The narration ends with an apology for having to end the film in this way, rather than being able to report that the model had, in fact, found the tooth and had it reinserted, saving his career.