Dream Log: July 24, 2000

I was late to meet Josh at the corner bar. When I arrived I saw him sitting there with a stranger. I felt an immediate distaste for the stranger, a short, hairy man, with a coarse laugh I could hear all the way across the bar. Walking up to greet Josh I thought, "That man, he's just like a little troll!" and I suppressed a grimace as I reached their barstools. There was a bit of a crowd gathered, and as I greeted Josh I heard a woman joking with the troll man. "All you want is to get laid!" she said, and the troll man replied, "That's right. All I want is a good lay, lay, lay. All I want is a lay." "Brilliant," I thought, "What intelligent people you meet at a bar." The troll man must have sensed my disdain. He turned to me. Staring at me in a way that discomforted me, he asked, "What do you want?" Unthinkingly I answered, "Someone to drink spearmint tea with." As soon as I uttered those words, I knew that was all that I wanted in the world. I could picture it clearly: holding the warm teacup, the minty smell steaming over the edge, my knees curled up to my chin. The image was perfect and absolute. Satisfied, the troll man turned to Josh. "And you, what do you want?" Like me, Josh answered immediately and with utter conviction in his voice: "small, flat, underdeveloped hips," and I felt the wind knocked out of me. My own hips were normal, I wasn't pear shaped or anything, but my hips could definitely not be described as "underdeveloped". Josh continued, listing utterly specific characteristics, and it was a long list. His list includes everything: small details about the way that someone would hold themselves, or small specific physical details like "A birthmark there, on the left temple." There were details about personality, "Angry words words, fiery spirit," details about appearance, breathing, form. I listened to Josh's list, totally unnerved by the specificity of his previously completely unexpressed desire. Listening to him, it seemed clear that he has always wanted these things, as if it is actually a specific woman, perhaps a love lost lover, whom he is speaking about. Whoever it is, I know it's not me, that Josh absolutely knows what he wants, and it's not me. And there is a confusion in me as to why he's there with me in the first place, and a sadness that I am not his heart's desire.
This dream is also at http://www.sleeptrip.com/displayDream.php3?dream_id=174? (p.s. I know you are not supposed to put links, but it has images and you can't put images here)

I'm talking to a Belgian academic I know. He's taunting me about when I visited somewhere in Romania. He's saying that I had an affair with another academic who was there at the same time. I feel indignant and angry about this.

Also here is another visiting academic, a chinese girl. My friend is implying it is inevitable I will have an affair with her too. I'm furious about this.

Now I'm in a city centre, somewhere I don't recognise. It's night and there are lots of bright coloured lights from shopfronts, maybe a bus station. I'm with the Chinese girl and even though I'm still angry with my friend I find myself putting my arm around her. She also holds onto me tightly.

As the dream ends, some kind of sexual encounter seem inevitable.

When I wake up I feel very uncomfortable, as though I have betrayed myself. Over to you Dr Freud.

next dream

(For thy browsing pleasure: Previous day / Next day and my next dream / My previous dream / Wolf's Dreamworld)

Sketchy details, but I had at least two dream sequences last night...

A friend of mine from the States - whom I have never met in RL - had come to see me. I don't remember much from this part, other than a few points. I was naked in the bathroom, and when I opened the door he was on the other side. I closed the door kind of quickly and found my bath robe =)

Much to my surprise, he was speaking fairly understandable Finnish. Anyway, he found one thing from the hideous mess I had in the room: A pair of skis, probably as old as my father or something, that was packaged in cardboard box and paper. I told him I'm not that interested about skiing in general...

In another dream sequence, I was in Helsinki Fantasiapelit shop (RPG store) in the middle of the winter. It had become a BIG shop since I last was there; only about half of the hall was in use and even heated =)

I walked around, carrying some blue sourcebook that some map of fantasy land in the cover. (During my walk, it turned into a CD-ROM with the same cover - and I had forgotten where I had got it from so I left it on one shelf.) I noticed they were also selling game-related shirts; I started looking for a shirt that would have a BattleTech logo. I saw similiar designs, but not BT shirts. I also noted something pretty crazy: Cardboard pizza boxes, complete with game logos! Next to them, they sold "Pizza shirts" - ie, again those game shirts, but they were folded so they looked kind of like those pizza boxes.

I walked around the shop, but as I said, the other half of the shop was cold and empty. I even ran into Jessie and James of Team Rocket there (Ugh, overdose of Pokemon?) and tried to ran away from them... I ran out to the snowy streets, wondering the circus of Helsinki traffic.

I was in a packed ampitheatre, the masses struggling to jam themselves in. Following you, trying to keep up but you disappeared into the warm darkness of 10,000 people, who became a single entity breathing, sweating, speaking in unison. The door opened, but the stairs were too steep to climb, and I walked back out into the lobby. There were others wandering, disenfranchised. I remembered them from high school.

My dad and I chatted quietly in the living room. I ran my fingers over the arm of my chair. It was covered with sticky sap. Everything in the room suddenly dripped with it.
"What the hell is this?" I asked, and he said it was for feeding the hummingbirds.

The dead children put their baptismal dresses back on, and climbed into bed with me. They were crying, and their ice skin started to melt in the blankets. I tried to shake them off, but they were stubborn.

I woke up after this, shivering.

It was a regular evening, my friend and I were out looking for some fun, just chillin'. I met this cute girl that I had always liked while we were in school. We were talking about fooling around, when suddenly she said, "Want to?" Then I kissed one of the cutest girls I ever met, and woke up. Imagine that.

---

For reference, don't think I'm some loser who doesn't get ass. I have two girls at the moment, don't get the wrong idea.

My sister was standing in the doorway and refused to come further into my room. I was in my bedroom but it was at the top of a skyscraper, I didn’t know this till i pulled the drapes and saw the world so far down below. I turned around and my sister was gone, but she’d left me a little jar with a goldfish in it. It could hardly turn around in such a small space but at least it was alive, I reasoned. I dumped it out the window and watched it learn to fly as it fell. I was worried it would hit the ground before it learned to fly but everything turned out ok. My sister came back and laughed at me, it had always been a bird.

Istanbul Levitation Vallejo

• Purchasing cannabis indica in a rooftop garden in Istanbul.

• Riding a levitating platform in a Hollywood version of ancient Jerusalem, 22nd century Holy Land.

• Reliving Friday night's party at Jill's house in Vallejo, California. The hostess is even more drunk than she was in real life.

I've said it before I'll say it again, I used to never dream, or very rarely. Here lately it's been an everyday thing.

I bought a mountain bike yesterday, because my girlfriend and I, mostly her, have decided to get into shape (apparently the shape she had previously chosen was a triangle).

So I ride into town for some Ice-Cream, and I notice a neat little trail to my right. I quickly double back so I can ride my new bike down this trail. When I get to the trail, there is a little old man throwing bread crumbs, to these cats, thinking they were pigeons. I said to him, "Hey you know that those are cats you're throwing the bread to don't you?" After a short pause, the old man looked at me, and said, to you they are cats, but they represent the animal within' each individual person. At that time, another man on a bicycle rode up, and said to the old man, "Why are you throwing bread to the stray hippos?"
At this point I remember being very moved, and enlightened by the old man's comments.
I was next at home, where my girlfriend was already waiting to tell me about this old woman she saw throwing cats at bread crumbs.|
This is undoubtedly the most unusual dream I have ever had.

The three of us were climbing up the snow mountain to see if his soul could be reclaimed. He was the mountain, or, the mountain was everything he'd said and done. I thought there was hope for him but the guy insisted otherwise, showing me you couldn't dig into the ground at all, it was rock-hard. We started to argue but the girl made us call a truce. We collected all the cigarettes we could find.

Working at Borders again, but the store was inverted. My employee code didn't work at the registers and I didn't know what to do. I kept a woman waiting for 20 minutes before I figured out I could have someone else ring her up.

I called Pete and got a new message. He sounded distracted and troubled enough to worry me. Then he was there but wouldn't look me in the eye. He told me half of what it was and then wouldn't say any more. I knew enough to be worried but also knew I couldn't do anything about it. I think I held his hand but I don't think it helped.

I am in the basement, doing something on the computer, when she arrives. She asks if I am ready to go, and I say it will just be a minute. She walks back upstairs. I finish my work on the computer, and run up the steps. She's lying on the couch, with a blanket over her. I thought we were going out. I walk over slowly, and kneel beside her. She is beautiful. I love her hair, her eyes. I think she is sick. Like my mother did to me when I was a child, I press my lips gently to her forehead. She has a fever. I look at her, to tell her she is sick. So close to her face. She kisses me, unexpectedly. Her lips are wonderful soft, and she kisses beautifully, holding my top lip between hers for just a moment as she pulls away. I kneel there, bewildered. I know she has a boyfriend. Is she doing this because she is sick, delerious? Because she is in love with me?

Someone moving around in the kitchen wakes me up. I am upset by this. I lay back down and try to go back to sleep, back to her.