I had the strangest of dreams last night. It pitted me in a post-modern stage where the world had been split into factions who followed Deities. Each Deity was a regular Human who had been exposed to a strange material (I think I've been playing Final Fantasy VII a tad too much). My certain God happened to be my friend, Amy. She was really tall and always wore sexy, hugging, red, revealing dresses. I wasn't complaining.

Anyway we had to go fight the followers of this big, fat, ugly ogre who was actually my friend Hans (hmmmm...). However Jim Carey had to come save the day, but ended up being stabbed with a giant cigarette butt (I still don't get the stabbed bit either) by my Goddess Amy, and so we went forth to crush the evil followers of Hans the Ogre.

Things got pretty vague after that when my pet cat jumped on my bed, half waking me up, but I was soon fast asleep once more, jumping straight past the battle to the bit where Hans' head was an ornament on the wall now (hmmm, nice) and Amy and I were passionately making love in front of the fire. Pretty good, I thought, I mean here I am fucking a Goddess.

Then Dad woke me up and I got really annoyed, good by sexy Goddess that I'm making hot, sweaty, passionate love to, hello annoying Dad singing along shitty pop songs on Video Hits! Just great... I'm hoping to visit my new girlfriend again tonight.

There is some sort of scheme I have contrived to convice my dad that I have broken my new PSX2. Whenever I plug it in, it begins to wail Melissa Ethridge and Roy Orbison songs. This is very painful on my part, but my dad thinks I am doing this to earn sympathy.

I have to go to this water park to ride the dangerous slides, only I am stuck in a traffic jam and there is a pick-up truck in front of me with Jeffrey Dahmer and Michael Dukakis in it. I have this notion of flagging them down by extending my right arm out of the car and making a circular motion. Dukakis turns around and grins. When he talks, it sounds like he is speaking through a fast food drivethru speaker. He asks me questions about my dad.

I go home, and my dad is sitting on the couch being diagnosed with AIDS. He says aloud to himself, "If only I hadn't been so big on Clint Eastwood in my 20's, I may still be here today." I replied, "But you are here.." "Shut up! This is my dream, not yours!" I woke up then.

Another dream occured. I'm talking to my boyfriend on the phone (seems to be a reccurent dream theme) and he was telling me how he was having these experiments performed on his. He was living in a hotel and they would put him in an incubator for days at a time, then release him for a few hours. The treatments they were giving him were supposed to affect random things about him from how frequently he urinates to how tired he is to his appetite. I said I was going to visit him, and so I showed up one day, and I'm in his room. And he had one of his friends/classmates with him, John, only John didn't say anything; he just watched me. We were talking for awhile about the treatments, but it seemed like he just kept getting phone calls every time I started to say something. Eventually, there is a point where the phone calls stop. We start talking about the treatments again, and I kiss him. Only the treatment has affected the way he kisses, and I get a cold electric charge when we kiss. John is laughing. Then there is a knock at the door. Ben's "advisor" comes in, a stout man holding his hands on his hips, stands before me, now sitting on the floor, and starts telling me how he wants no hanky-panky in here while Ben is doing the experiment. I can't see his face because the sun (a nonexistent element of the dream) is causing a glare on his face. I just nod my head and agree. All I knew about him was that he was a guidance counseler at my school, Mike King. As I close the door, I turn back to Ben, and I see how he could have suspected that I had kissed him. There was the word "HOT" written all over the floor in a very small type, yet still visible. I stayed for a bit longer, talking about this zine that he was producing, and helping him think of ideas for that, then I left.

I had to be somewhere else in the building by a certain time, only parts of the floor would fall out when you walk on them. You never knew which it was going to be. The floors in the building only perimetered the building, so there was a large center area that had an elevated ceiling. I got to the elevator, which had not come yet, and since there were no door, the shaft was visable. One of the members of the academic team, Heather, was there, along with the coach's eleven-year-old son, an old friend of mine from the 7th grade, Wade, and two people I didn't know. We figured that the only way out of here was via the elevator, only it just now hit us that we were standing in the elevator shaft (I don't know how this was possible, but it all made sense in the dream) and we would have to jump out of the shaft, hold on to the wall and jump back in the elevator. When the elevator came, Heather and I both jumped at the same thing and she was barely holding on to me, and we made it back in. The other people plummeted to the first floor and died. As we were standing in the elevator, we heard Turning Japanese and we started laughing. She asked me if I thought Ben was going to be okay. I told her that with a little help, he would be fine. She said she had tried to visit him, but she couldn't stand it and had to leave and wanted to know how I put up with it. I laughed and said something along the lines of how I wouldn't leave him just because he is having an experiment performed on him. She furled her eyebrows at me and walked away, thus leaving me to wake up.

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