I just forced myself awake from
terrible dreams about
nuclear war.
Started out as leftover from another dream;
surreal story like a
video game, details hazy now, but for some reason a
nuclear missile hidden inside a
moped. Lots of subways. Lighthearted.
Traffic lights bearing down, like a net.
Then, later on, morphed into the
war dream; walking down a
suburban street, near the
Wasatch front in
Utah (suburban
SLC) I knew it was coming.
Flash behind me, but the flash wasn't realistic. Slow, like
molasses,
white light wrapping around.
Enough time to
hide in the
lee side of a house, duck into a shadow.
The light burns on your skin. In my sleep, my skin was burning, like a horrible
sunburn, wherever this phantom light touched it.
Somehow wound up sheltered with other people (
celebrities? not as themselves, like as
characters in a film, not everyone) in the house
attic, though later
the attic was the basement.
Seemed as if there was no
destruction. Tried to get
online (somehow no
EMP knocked out computers) to tell people
I was alive.
The house I was in was that of a personal enemy, played by
the blonde Baldwin (when going back and linking,
that makes me smile. It didn't at the time). Normally hostile, allowing us to stay 'cause of
extraordinary circumstances.
Trying to communicate to others (names of
noders in
IM buddy list). SEE A WHITE
TOMAHAWK MISSILE fly lazily by the window. Pulls up, seeking. "
It's happening again!"
Duck and cover, away from the light. Press into corners, by bookcases, by walls. Light comes in everywhere. Every crack, window. Can't get away entirely. Squeeze eyes closed, throw arm across face to keep from going blind. (I woke up with my arm pressed tightly across my eyes)
Again, no sound, no destruction (near us anyway), just horrible light, burning skin.
It's
night, suddenly. Go up to a
cupola/
widow's walk/
gazebo on the roof.
A
mushroom cloud is blowing toward us, up the street past us, like a
tornado. Doing no serious damage, just being silentlly blown by.
Back downstairs, describing what I just saw. The father from
American Pie is there.
Another flash, another duck and cover,
then I force myself awake.
The dread is still in my skin, my face is heavy and I had to
get this down.
Haven't dreamed about nuclear war in a long time. As a child of the eighties, thanks to Reagan, I used to have nuclear war nightmares all the time. Horrible dreams. I can't fathom what it must have been like to grow up in the fifties, with cheery propaganda films telling you how to "survive" this horrible insanity your government is subjecting you to for a pointless "bigger dick" contest. I think the dreams were my first political consciousness. I hated it so much. How could any government hold their people hostage like that? It was pure evil.
My eyes are teary. trying to breathe deeply, get it all out, let it go so I can go back to sleep. Going back to format and link up the above; hopefully that'll let it all fade.
I don't want any child to dream of nuclear war ever again.