At first I'm in this store...somehow I know it's
Bebe. I'm with my friend Maggie and we're shopping, and when I walk in I see a
camisole made entirely out of light blue, green, and orange
stained glass. It was beautiful and entirely impossible except for in my dreams. After trying on some things and obsessing about which
pant size I wore (I'm obsessed with my
weight even in dreams), I left the store with one bag and alone.
When I walked outside of the store however, it was like walking out of the apartments where one of my friends lives...a walk I've made many times out of that parking lot to the adjacent one where there's always a space feeling a curious mix of satisfaction, giggles, and shame. The feeling was there, but it was early morning, it was dawn, and all of a sudden I was in the mall.
With my mother. But she had to leave, and I couldn't come with her. I told her I had my phone, so that when she came back she could call me and come to where I was.
I sat in the food court with no food and waited. And waited.