someone I know has been unexpectedly electrocuted and died. augh! I find it very upsetting. their family is in tears. I'm in tears a lot. I wander through a normal work day, being upset. At some point I visit their house (it looks kind of like an old house I used to live in - victorian, wood everywhere, old ungrounded sockets with weird hardware) and see the room he was in when it happened. I wake up very ready to cry, but it's so so relieving to realize that it was just a dream, that he's not dead, that I don't.

On a bus trip to somewhere, I don't care where.
My brother was there,
  Not as nightmarishly as before.

I should not feel it to be strange...

We talked a bit, but distantly,
I asked a thousand things of home,
Why does my dream project on him a life as empty as mine?

He got to drive the bus on the way back from where we were going. Everybody on the trip filed into the church, and the seats were filled.

Does my old friend remember me?

The Ugly-ass piano: I start taking piano lessons again from my first piano teacher. I can't remember a thing, but he thinks I should be able to play as well as I ever did. So, after he leaves, I resolutely decide to relearn how to play on my own, since I've done this a few times. A friend has a piano, only it's been painted a gray color, with exterior house paint, and it's been layered on really thick. It turns out it isn't his piano, but actually belongs to another semi-friend. Why he would own a piano is beyond me. The house I grew up in was painted that color, and I think the piano was actually located in the same room we used to have a piano in.

Woah. I know Capoeira!: It starts off as an odd trip to various BBS's that I used to haunt, back in the day. I think maybe there were some nitrous balloons involved, too. But finally, it settles down into a free club space where they spin techno and such. A friend of mine comes to visit, and DJ there. When the music starts, I'm dancing around with a long golden chain, spinning it and occasionally hitting myself. Then, I'm doing crazy Capoeira moves, like a one-handed handstand, all while spinning this chain around. I do want to learn Capoeira, but I don't have the motivation. The techno bit with the chain? I dunno... Freaky. Some kind of self-flagellation undercurrents there. Maybe even a reference to DNA (golden braid?).

I fell asleep while coding the game bridge...

I walked into my aunt's bedroom around 2:30 AM:
Why you still awake?
I can't sleep. This guy appears with blades as fingers; he scares me."
What does he wear?
A red and black stripped shirt. Is he the devil?
DAMN THAT FREDDY! This will be interesting.- I thought.
No, he's not the devil. Don't worry about it. Just close your eyes and go to sleep.
I taped her eyes shut and left the room. I called my brother and told him what had happened. He rushed over and we tied my aunt down to the bed and waited. An hour passed and she started moving around. I stood up and leaned over her body. She started mumbling, and I woke-up my brother. She started moaning and shaking. I jumped on her body and tried to wake her up. That catchy-scary-theme music started. I looked at my brother and we laughed.
Hmm..okay..I'm awake
NO! You hear that music. If you were awake we wouldn't be able to hear it. OH MAN! We can hear
it..that means...
My brother and I ran to eachother and waited for Freddy to pop-out. My aunt started rising, bed and all. I woke up.
My dream about work #65536

I was at work, doing work-related things. Coaching calls and printing out spreadsheets, mostly. I was a little bit annoyed at one of my co-workers but above all, I was interested in getting everything done before it was time to go home.

Because it will be the last time I would ever go in to work.

I walked out of the building and headed over toward a car in the back of the parking lot. I don't remember what car it was. It could be my Dodge, but I think it was something else. I knew that once I got into that car, I would die. The car became my metaphor for death. I knew it was inevitable and irreversible. And I knew that it was something that I had to do.

I began to feel nervous. I started hoping that my conceptions of the afterlife were correct, and hoping that I was not pissing off some god somewhere.

But then I realzed that I had not said goodbye to anyone. I turned around and walked back in the building, swiping my badge on the way in. I got back to our area to tell all my friends goodbye when my boss arrived and gave me more work to do. I sat down and started working, and never went back out to the car of death.

Dream about work #6969
Dream about work #42
it was a very short dream and it was only barely on the 23rd.
I'm me.
I'm a ship.
I have cargo in my chest.
One piece of cargo is a bomb.
That bomb explodes inside me.
I can feel it explode within me.
This is not as bad a feeling as I would expect.
I am not alive.
The damage is reparable.
I am glad I am a ship.

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