My dreams last night were too intense
to let me sleep through the night and I know my body burned up energy just dreaming them - I'm exhausted. I can't remember a single image from them, but I know they had to do with problem solving, and the only other characters in them were my primary lover
and a friend
. Every time I woke up I remember having to make a conscious decision
as to whether or not I wanted to go back to sleep because each time I did, the plot would thicken, and the chain of events would be more intense. I was frustrated
, but I was too sleep deprived to fight. My dreams were darker than the night.
The only dream I can remember was the one I had this morning, and for a change it's easy enough to write out. My dreams are usually fragmented, but oftentimes with fairly strong and vivid imagry. I've resolved to write them down more often, not neccessarily for noding, but more often because they are indeed prophetic, as was this one.
I was a teacher or an assistant at a countryside school that had two farmhouse buildings at a right angle to each other, both sharing the same grassy backyard. The weather was perfect (for me, perfect is a spring/fall Northeast US climate), the sun was shining, and I believe I was wearing a long pale, flowered, and pastel colored country girl kinda dress (No, this was not a nightmare. Deeahblita can be a soft girlygirl too, sometimes. *grin*) and my hair was long again and probably just one colour, my natural dark brown.
At one point, I was out in the yard walking alongside some of the students as they were making their way from one building to the other. It wasn't a very large yard, but these students were a troupe of ants, and although I couldn't see them, I could talk to them easily as if their voices were a hundred times larger than their bodies. :) I could hear the leader calling cadence through the grass, and I was quite amused watching the grass sway and part as an indicator of where they were. It was just plain, silly fun. I was just escorting them, my friends, and we chatted happily back and forth.
On their journey they had to gather twigs and stems and leaves for their class. They were carrying a large (for them) pile already and since I knew they were running late for class and having trouble making it through the tall grass with the pile, I took it from them and placed it on the doorstep of the destination building and they expressed their gratitude. I'm guessing those were tools for the class they were heading off to, and instinct tells me that it was a class for building something, perhaps shelter.
After dropping off their supplies and seeing that they were near their destination, I said goodbye and headed back to the other building. It was darker, not as serene, and I knew that I had problems here. Perhaps this building was where my earlier dreams from that night had taken place and stepping out into the yard was a moment of respite. I saw a few different people there (including a servant in a long white dress who had delicious boobs with perky erect nipples, and I drooled over them in the dream, sigh - Deeahblita is a pervert, even in her dreams) but none that were familiar to me. The dream didn't last much longer after this and nothing happened of interest. It just ended with me feeling uncomfortable in this darker house with a feeling that something was on the verge of bad trouble.
What this all means, IMHO:
My best guess is that I've been helping other people out with their problems because they're definitely easier to deal with than my own. I didn't see the sticks and leaf stems as tools until I started noding this. Perhaps I should just be more of an observer and a listener than helping them carry their weight. After all, these are their tools for their class. Even though it's not a burden for me at all, and we all feel like I'm helping, carrying the tools is part of their learning process. If it were all so simple, life experience should come in storebought learning modules.
I need to refocus energy on myself as that was one of my original goals this year and I, once again, have lost sight of that. I'm still here for friends, but I can only listen and give hugs and be silly with you. My backpack is empty and I need to gather my tools. *sigh* How long do I have until sunset?