I wake up in my apartment, feeling drunk. I look out the window and see the skyline of New York City. It is still night. I'm suddenly aware that there is someone there wish me, a girl. In a drunken panic I struggle to remember her name. I finally remember it and decide I better write it down so I don't forget it the next morning. So I grab a pen, and for lack of anything to write on, I scribble it down on my sheet. I suddenly realize it's not the only thing written on the sheet, as I slowly get up and back away I realize the entire sheet is covered with names and not only that, but some people realizing what I have done had written their own comments and messages on the sheet. Panic. I wake up.

I had a vision today.

I was in underwater combat training school, preparing to go to war against the turtes and alligators. It was my first day, and I had just been given my very first combat spatula.

Now for spatula training, what they had us do was stand in front of a toaster, chest-deep in lukewarm sludge, and whack the Eggos when they popped up. Easy, right?

Well, the first few people got it perfect, so then it was my turn. The golden, crisp Eggo floated through the air, but I couldn't bring myself to whack it. Instead, I grabbed the Eggo and whacked the toaster into the sludge, all the while running as fast as I could to get out of the sludge before the toaster fell in.

I got out. There was quite an impressive fire. I just sat next to my minivan, munching my Eggo, and watching the sky turn red. Soon the angry people who were chasing me showed up, but i told them to look back, and they saw the sky, and they sat down. So i gave them each a bit of my Eggo (but not too much). We then packed our lunches, piled into the van, and departed for Fairy Land.

Tomorrow, I'm going to defect to the Turtles' side.

I had this dream that I walked into a classroom and sat down with my friend Tony and my girlfriend. Then I took a test or something and left. At some point I lost all my clothes (tres cliche`) and was chased for many blocks by a large black man who kept saying "Naked whiteboy" over and over again.
Then I wake up and my girlfriend is crying and tells me about her nightmare. I'm glad she woke me up because I did not want to get caught by that man.

Jessicapierce (on whose authority I am taking this nap which ultimately stretches to seven hours - hour and a half, MY ASS) is giving aluminum pie plates to everyone who's awake, and I get one too. I protest - surely you of all people should be aware that I am sleeping right now!? I send it back and demand it come back with a cream pie, that I might wallop it in her face. That time never comes.

in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

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