I'm visiting my mother's house. They're all getting ready and dressed up in retro gear for something, some kind of "flashback to the 60's" event tonight. My mom's ex-boyfriend Kevin comes to pick us all up and take us to it. It's raining torrents outside. Even though he has a normal-sized car with plenty of space, my mother's sitting in his lap as he drives, and my sister (wearing something red) is in her lap. Kevin is suitably squashed, and tries to maneuver us down off the short hill in the rain, but we end up sliding down half-backwards through the grass onto the road.

We're at the 60's place. A big, open, well-lit house. Tons of people are there. They're playing games as we all walk in--basketball by the sound of it. Some of us are assigned to two teams with animal names I can't remember now and, divided into four groups, taken to sit in a big room with lots of doors on either end. (I hear a score--some Turtle team is beating someone else by about eight hundred to seventy.)

The two groups of us that had been assigned to the teams walk out through the farthest door on the left-hand side. I'm on a remaining group. Some guy talks to us about whether we're still playing or not. (There aren't many in our group--me, some kid, and a few scattered adults. The other teams are huge.) An employee comes and has a talk with him, and so we end up getting to following after them anyway. My friend Daniel was in another group but had to turn back and get something. I worry about whether he'll find the way we went--there's really a lot of doors in this hall.

I end up marching after everyone else. The employees of the place are all dressed in white outfits; even though we took the same exit as everyone else, our route seems to be going through the kitchen instead. Hmm. I meet a kid from another group and start walking with him. He shows me his yearbook.

I wish that so many people had signed my yearbook. I turn through page after page after page of the really long type of letters people tend to write. "Dear Engl" this and "Hey Engl" that. I guess that's his name. A couple of pages are covered entirely with Bible texts from different people. Wow. I look in the yearbook-proper. I see pictures of ancient artifacts and descriptions of them. Wow.

Engl and I get pretty much separated from the group, and I suggest turning back to see if we can find Daniel. The path has been pretty straightforward, so we go back. When we arrive at what should be the big blue room with the doors, however, it doesn't seem to be the same room. Instead, there's a kind of grungy brown room with a large bunkbed in it. Daniel is lying on the bottom bunk looking scared, and with good reason, as the top bunk is occupied by a sleeping giant with a really big axe. I motion to Daniel to come out, and he shakes his head no. There's a motion, and the axe drops down and slices right next to him. Oh. The axe rebounds back and--no, actually, it looks more like some kind of automatic mechanism. It goes up and down a bit... Daniel manages to grab it while it's down once and slides out (oddly) under it. Stupid. He makes it through okay though.

So we're running away. There's this huge room, full of clothes on circular racks, like in a department store. It's full of people, who are also all running around (away from something?). The place begins to feel weird and Alice in Wonderlandy, everyone's frantic haste creating a circus atmosphere. We run up to a wall and expect a opening in it. The lady behind us with the white hair runs off in another direction; I dash between two close-together clothes racks and try not to be seen. Wait, that's too obvious. I pull some clothes around me, covering myself and blotting out the dim light.

Now--I see a light inside my dark cover. It looks like a lamp-post. Is this another wonderland after all? I walk toward it--no, it looks like a pink candle. (All this while the noise of people running around in the room has been going on. Someone shouts "It's the princess!") It no longer appears to be a candle--it is a fuse. Suddenly I hear the sound of a cannon going off. A lady screams.

I'm laid out on the floor. Images: tons and tons of E2 softlinks scrolling by. I feel, for a second, a heavy localized pressure on my chest; by feel, I conclude a big cat is walking over me. I wait for its other feet to pass over, but nothing happens.

And I wake up, frightened.

- / +

My first E2 nightmare?

A newbie noder had gone on a Korg synthesizer noding spree.
He submitted all the units I had already noded, but with different node titles.

Although the other noder's writeups were really short and incomplete, everybody started praising him on the chatterbox.

I tried to tell my fellow noders I had already noded the same stuff and done a better job with it, but they didn't believe me! Most of them got quite angry at me, for trying to put a promising newbie down.

My mum brings home a tribble (argh!) for me to keep as a pet. I say, oh no mum, it's a tribble, damn you, now we're going to be overrun! But then I realise my cat will save the day, so I give her the tribble to neatly dispatch. She just starts washing it and treating it as if it were the kitten she never had. I go away or turn around and when I turn back, there are SIX tribbles where the one used to be and they're ganging up on my cat.

I kick the tribbles off the chair and they scatter away in all directions. My mum tells me I'm cruel. Then a tribble turns over and it has some sort of crazy ass vicious looking dentata thing going on on its underside orifice. Oh no! africanized attack tribbles! I start kicking them and trying to step on them but they attach themselves to my feet like carnivorous bedroom slippers. I can feel their sharp little teeth sinking into the flesh on the soles and the top of my feet. I walk around in the hopes that it will mash their brains in but I'm not sure if tribbles have brains and anyway it doesn't seem to help. I fight, I acquiese. They don't make half-bad shoes, I think to myself...

Uh oh, another E2 dream. I think I'm cracking up. I had this dream that my SO read my write-up in Her name was Natalie (It's about her) and that she then called me from a long way away and started crying and couldn't stop telling me how much she loved me. heh, I love you too.

It would be fair to say, that the only thing in life, short of first dates, that really truly scares me, are my very own dreams. I've always tried to understand it, but who knows better than yourself, what scares you the most.

I was playing on my computer, when I hear scuffling behind me, thinking it was my cat, I ignored it. When the scuffling tunred into footsteps, I got nervous. I turned around, to see this pair of shoes, walking across my carpet, accompanied by maniacal laughter. I was petrified. So fucking scared, that I ran to my gun cabinet, pulled out my shotgun, and started pluggin' the shoes. When I ran out of shells, I grabbed the shoes, and threw them out my front door.

Everything was ok, for now. I went over to anm and his wife's house, to tell them about what happened. We then all went over to my house. The four of us, I do not remember who the fourth person was, were watching TV in the guest room I heard a sound in the laundry room, so I went to check it out. When I got in there, there was this evil black figure crouching in a spiderman position on my washing machine. It said to me, "You took my shoes." It lept upon me and started ripping me apart.

I woke up with JarJar nibbling on my ears, I was drenched in sweat, and an hour late for work.

Some more weird dreams to add to an already long list. Fieldy, the bass player from Korn, took me out in his silver Jaguar to the neighborhood I lived in while growing up. Except there weren't any houses; only bars and adult night clubs. We went inside a huge warehouse type thing that suddenly appeared, and in it were hundreds of Jonathan Davis look-alikes on an enormous swing set. Finally, Fieldy and I found the real Jonathan, and then the three of us went out and had a couple beers. Around two in the morning or so, they had to perform at a concert. I was in the center of the mosh pit, beating people senseless. It was great.

I dreamt I was in CompUSA, the one that just opened up not so long ago. It was very crowded and people were running over each other to grab software. Then the PA system made like a loud buzzing noise and an employee said over the PA that a big alligator was lose in the store. Everyone started to run toward the door but suddenly a loud shot rang out.

"Nobody's going anywhere," said Bill Nye the Science Guy. He was blocking the doors and held a shotgun much bigger than any real-life shotgun. He was smiling like someone who just went insane.

"Marie, collect their valuables," he instructed his sexy young assisant, who was boarding up the doors.

I guess in my dream valuables were hair because she took out an electric razor and shaved everyone's hair off. Yup, even down there.

I thought it was going to be one of those dreams that is totally incoherent, because there had been no mention of the alligator for a while. But then Bill Nye said, "Okay, everbody get naked and wrestle the alligator."

There were some attractive girls in the store and I thought I would get in trouble for being visibly excited, but no one said anything, even the middle-aged man shopping with his shapely teenage daughter. The alligator ate everyone else. So it was just me, Bill Nye, and Marie, who was masturbating. "Your turn to die, Nobody Beats The Wiz", he said, actually using my E2 name!

Suddenly thefez appeared, in the form of Bruce Lee. "Fuck you, you Science Prick," he said. Then he said something I don't remember about donkeys and cheese that made no sense.

Slitting his eyes, Bill Nye mentioned a thumb war. As thefez and Bill Nye the Science Guy were thumb wrestling, I ran out of CompUSA through the back. At the door, I leaped, and CompUSA blew up just like in the movies.

Then I went to the Wiz and smoked some bud with Bill Clinton. It was a cool ending, but usually my dreams are not so obscene.

Beatles Buffet

  • I'm hanging out with Paul McCartney and a few friends. We are all really high and I keep going off about the genius of The Beatles' music. Abbey Road is on the stereo and I just about have a musical orgasm from this combination of Beatles' music, a real live Beatle and extremely potent marijuana (it's from Paul's stash).

  • I'm at a buffet-style restaurant with my friend, Bill. For some reason, I've never been to a buffet before and need a lot of guidance in the task of piling the absolute maximum amount of food onto my plate in order to get the most out of our $12.99. It's not all-you-can-eat. I'm walking towards the cashier when Bill points out that I missed the marinated mushrooms. Thanks, Bill.

computer cemetery

my friend and i are exploring a cemetery when we see a large mausoleum that resembles a large computer case. upon making a hole through the wall where a weak piece of black plastic was, we peeked in with a flashlight. inside the mausoleum we could see monitors, reels of cat 5, computers, and other hardware of sorts. we then took it upon ourselves to enter and put some of the unused hardware back to work. we unlatched the door and entered. with a better view, we could see the large expanse inside filled with much more than we expected. mainframes lined the walls, and handheld devices were scattered about. this was like the tomb of a great computer pharaoh. there were old computers, and new computers.

tomb raiders

i began to take some of the cat 5 that was on a reel off to the side. it was nice cable, i checked for the 8 wires inside the cable and was pleased to find it was true cat 5. my friend was examining a handheld computer. when i turned to him, i noticed a monitor in the corner switch on. it was not plugged in. the monitor gave warning messages about removing hardware from the tomb. we were scared. more monitors and hardware turned on and booted up. a face displayed itself on a larger monitor and we decided to leave. the tomb was cursed and we did not want to stick around. we left and discussed the events that had taken place.

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