"Behold, gentlemen!!" Doctor Korgon cried out with his slight Germanic accent as he whipped open the
velvet curtain, revealing the technological marvel behind. There, before the small audience of dignitaries and scholars, stood a
robot, a mechanical man approximately equivalent in size and shape to a real man, though clearly
metals and
plastics and
rubbers throughout. And to the left of the robot, a rather plain and inexpensive
toilet had been installed. Doctor Korgon gestured to his personal secretary, the voluptuous Miss Tennyson, who went to a small table and picked up a cup. "
Grapefruit juice," the doctor explained to the audience, as Miss Tennyson presented the cup to the robot. Slowly, the robot extended an arm, gears clicking and clanking softly, as it gingerly accepted the proffered vessel. The robot raised the cup to it's artificial
mouth, leaned its head back slightly, and drank. The
audience sat in silent wonder -- what would the robot do next' what was the culmination of this display? And then, after but a moment of quiet processing, the robot turned slightly to the left and took a step. Then another, and another, and another, until it stood before the toilet. A
small tube protruded from the joinder of it's metal legs, and moments later, a thin stream of liquid spilled forth into the waiting basin.
"I have created," Doctor Korgon broadly exclaimed, "a robot which pees, like a man!!"
The audience was silent. Doctor Korgon folded his arms and stood before them with almost defiant pride. Miss Tennyson slightly straightened her dress. In the front row, Colonel Huffinpup adjusted his stately monocle and stroked his thick, stately moustache for a thoughtful moment, before midly harrumphing, "but what good is it?"
Doctor Korgon was taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"What" the Colonel repeated "good is it? What's it good
for?"
"The robot," he began, with some obvious irritation, "is not simply imbibing liquid at one and and passing it through like,
like some kind of...pipe!! It has transformed the liquid into a substance with a chemical profile approximating that of actual human
urine!!"
"So, does it power itself off what it drinks?"
"Power? No, it runs on a lithium-ion battery. But it drinks, and then it pees!! Like a man!!"
"Sounds like a waste of juice. And what," the Colonel again queried, "is it good
for?
Doctor Korgon obtained a completely perplexed appearance; he turned toward the robot and gesticulated, turned back to the audience, back to the robot, back to the audience. "It pees!! Like a man!! And what machine," he sputtered, "has ever accomplished such a thing?"
The Colonel shrugged with a mild humphing sound, then wordlessly rose from his chair, and sauntered out the door.
Doctor Korgon looked on with astoundment. "How dare you walk out--" his attention pivoted to the remaining audience, "how dare he walk out, on this, my life's work. This is a my life's work!! A robot which pees like a man!!"
But it was too late. The spell was broken, and the audience began quietly filtering out the doors.
----
FERRASSIC