Things that Amazon Alexa can hear and record if you place it in your room:
-- what you say when you talk in your sleep

-- moans

-- moans (unsexy)

-- curses as you search for a lost article of clothing

-- intimate conversations with your spouse

-- arguments with your spouse

-- violent arguments with your spouse

-- panicked exhortations from your spouse to put the weapon away

-- gunshots

-- death rattles

-- Someone kicking in the door and shouting

-- more gunshots

-- hideous roaring

-- breaking glass

-- more gunshots

-- someone vowing that you won't get far

-- someone using their radio to put out an APB

-- someone wondering if anyone among them really knows what they're dealing with, because whatever jumped out that window didn't look fully human


And the worst thing is that Amazon has all this stuff saved, so THEY can turn it into a thrilling radio broadcast while YOU have to scramble through the woods on all fours.

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