Dennis Pennis is a character who used to appear on the UK TV
program 'The Sunday Show
' and is the alter-ego of London
born comedian, Paul Kaye
. He specialises in getting interviews with celebrities and making them look stupid by asking ridiculously inane questions, or spouting one-liners.
In his role as a self styled 'media terrorist' he loitered outside film premieres and gala dinners, dressed as a punk,with dyed red hair, safety pins, the lot (the look apparently coming from a combination of Paul's obsessions with Johnny Rotten/John Lydon and Woody Allen). When his next interviewee to left, Dennis approached them in the same style as a regular reporter and asked them daft questions. Most of the lines were scripted with Pauls ex-bandmate, Anthony Hiles, and allegedly taken from Penguin joke-book. Some of his most famous 'hits' are listed below
"When I went to see Goldeneye
, I was glued to my seat.......otherwise I would have left."
"Did you see the Bruno vs Tyson fight? Because you reminded me so much of Bruno that night. Neither of you could come up with a hook that people wanted to see."
"Tom, I loved your new film (Apollo 13)...It was completely lacking in atmosphere!"
"Mel, in this film you play a hairy Neanderthal barbarian. As an Australian, are you afraid of becoming typecast?"
MG (with a smile) ????
DP "Your film did wonders for my sex life. When I went to the cinema, I slept with the whole audience!"
DP "Why was the supermodel staring at the carton of orange juice ?...because it said concentrate!"
HC (looking confused)"I don't get it"
DP (shouts)" BECAUSE IT SAID CONCENTRATE!"
HC (confused, then inspired) " Oh I know!- I'm not supposed to get it because I'm a supermodel"
DP (walks off)
But possibly the best was the convesation with Jeff Goldblum
DP: "Jeff. Quick word from the BBC."
JG: "Hello, you look so good."
DP: "You look good too."
JG: "Thank you."
DP: "Thank you. Listen, I always wanted to know about the...the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park."
JG: "Yes, sir."
DP: "How they made them look so real. I mean, there were times when David Attenborough was almost believable!"
JG: "Who? Who? Richard Attenborough?"
DP: "Dave wasn't it? Oh no, it was Richard."
JG: "Richard Attenborough."
DP: "You're right."
JG: "Of course, yes. Erm, you being from the BBC especially. Erm...."
DP: "I should have known that."
JG: "You're not an imposter are you? What have you done with the BBC....fellow."
DP: "I'm not an imposter. This is starting to peel off" (meaning the BBC sticker on the microphone as Jeff has started idly picking at it).
JG: "The...they made them look ve...very real. Erm, the...the...the...the greatest people, you know, erm. Ah, you know, erm, all sorts of techniques, and the computer animation and th...."
DP: "I don't really wanna know."
JG: (looks a bit confused and then smiles)
DP: "But I mean, you know Holsten Pils, right?"
JG: (starts laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing).
DP: "They were the official sponsor..."
JG: "You're a madman!"
DP: "They were..."
JG: "You're a madman."
DP: "Thank you."
DP: "That's the nicest thing you could have said to me. But, I wanna know about Holsten Pils, right?"
JG: "What about it?" (Jeff is now very intrigued and amused)
DP: "They were the sponsors of Tottenham Hotspur (Dennis does a derogatory fake spit). I just wondered whether you'd feel responsible if Sugar (Alan Sugar, then chairman of the club) ever turned to Alcohol."
JG: "He's funny (pointing at Dennis). You're funny. You've got a funny....(does a "talkie" motion with his hand)...funny way of...... way of speaking too."
DP: "A funny (does the "talkie" motion). Is that funny?"
JG: "Yeah! It's amusing."
DP: "Could you do a little bite for me? For the BBC. (JG: A bite.) Could you say "Hi, I'm Jeff Goldblum. Everytime I'm in England I watch BBC 3"
JG: "Watch this! Hi I'm Jeff Goldblum. And me, everytime I'm in England I watch BBC 3. (voice deepens) Yes I do!"
DP: "Ha! Liar!" (Dennis looks really pleased with himself as we don't have a BBC 3)
JG: "Noooo. You told me to say it! He told me to say it! Ah Jesus."
The character was killed off after several series and 3 videos as Paul decided he was 'too rude to live'