A conversation between friends....

The following took place December sixth. Just some boring chit-chat with my friend Sarah.(happyandbleeding_000).

happyandbleeding_000: Shalom!
happyandbleeding_000: What's up, yo?
fenwickdrummer: Nada.
fenwickdrummer: Looking for some crazy shit Sam wanted.
happyandbleeding_000: Yeah? Thats kewl. Is he there?
fenwickdrummer: No he's at home I believe.
fenwickdrummer: I was just over there jammin' a bit ago.
fenwickdrummer: Check this out ----> www.coloring.com
fenwickdrummer: On-line coloring book!!!
happyandbleeding_000: Kick ass!
happyandbleeding_000: Dude, my computer is waaaaaaayy to slow to even enjoy it....
fenwickdrummer: That sucks.
happyandbleeding_000: I think I prefer crayons and paper.
fenwickdrummer: It's really cool, but I understand.
fenwickdrummer: Colored pencils.
happyandbleeding_000: That's an interesting picture you have there..... Is that a slice of ham? Where was that?
fenwickdrummer: It was on my wall.
fenwickdrummer: I took a picture of it and then printed it off and put it up on my wall exactly where that ham was when I took the picture.
fenwickdrummer: It's a long story.
fenwickdrummer: My computer is being slow and stupid as well...
happyandbleeding_000: Yeah...my theory is that they are possessed by the souls of 80,000 year old men.... or maybe demons.
fenwickdrummer: One of the two.
fenwickdrummer: I found this really crazy site about uploading the human mind or soul onto a computer.
happyandbleeding_000: Really??
happyandbleeding_000: Explain.
happyandbleeding_000: Or just tell me the website.
fenwickdrummer: Hold on gotta find the website.
happyandbleeding_000: K
fenwickdrummer: http://metalab.unc.edu/jstrout/uploading/MUHomePage.html
fenwickdrummer: But about the ham...
fenwickdrummer: Mitch was over and we made a gravity bong. Got fried. Decided to eat some ham, but long-story-short, we decided it would be better if we were to throw the ham onto the wall and take a picture of it.
fenwickdrummer: The mind uploading page is A LOT of reading.
happyandbleeding_000: I don't mind a little reading.
fenwickdrummer: I read a little of it, but it's quite far-fetched.
happyandbleeding_000: How do you even fathom to search for this stuff?
fenwickdrummer: I get bored.
happyandbleeding_000: Like that purple website..... that's crazy.
happyandbleeding_000: And you can donate money to it.
fenwickdrummer: I know.
fenwickdrummer: Fucked up.
happyandbleeding_000: Did you see the picture of the guy who made it?
fenwickdrummer: No I did not.
happyandbleeding_000: Ha ha he looks just like Jack off Will and Grace.
fenwickdrummer: Hehehe. I hate that show.
happyandbleeding_000: Guess what?? I get to go see Foo Fighters and Weezer.... It's my first concert. ever.
fenwickdrummer: http://www.famousspirits.com/ Here you can purchase spirits of dead celebrities.
fenwickdrummer: WHEN?!?!?!
fenwickdrummer: Weezer would rock in concert.
fenwickdrummer: ?
happyandbleeding_000: I Know!!! my sister's boyfriend won two tickets off of the radio station 107.3, and doesn't like Weezer, so he GAVE me his ticket...... I'm going to fucking cry, or have a seizure or something. I cannot wait. Ummmmmm......January sixth I think it is....
happyandbleeding_000: grrrrrrrrr........my computer is being slllloooowwwww.
fenwickdrummer: Yeah yeah, I hope you have a good time.
happyandbleeding_000: The Strokes would be fucking awesome to see in concert too..........but Weezer will do.
fenwickdrummer: Yeah. I always wanted to see Tool in concert.
fenwickdrummer: I've only been to one really big concert.
happyandbleeding_000: Who? fenwickdrummer: Mindless Self Indulgence, Clutch, and System of a Down.
fenwickdrummer: It was bad ass.
fenwickdrummer: I was trippin' and freaking out.
happyandbleeding_000: That's awesome. I bet it was awesome.
fenwickdrummer: LOL. Remember that website about the demons entering the body?
happyandbleeding_000: Yeah.
fenwickdrummer: Well I wrote the woman that made the site an e-mail and she wrote me back .
fenwickdrummer: "I strongly disagree. Demons can come in though fantasy role playing-though not everyone will get demons--some people will--especially if these games are taken seriously and played frequently." That is the entire letter she sent me.
fenwickdrummer: That's what she wrote.
fenwickdrummer: I told her that she was insane.
happyandbleeding_000: Ha ha ha ha ha hah a ha ha ha ha .........what did you write her in the first place?
fenwickdrummer: I can't remember exactly, but I was stoned and angry that she could be so ... so... insane.
happyandbleeding_000: That is hilarious. I want to write her an e-mail now.
fenwickdrummer: I'm not sure if I have her address anymore. Just a second.
happyandbleeding_000: Oh kay.
fenwickdrummer: ********@aol.com that's the one.
happyandbleeding_000: Sweet. thanx. I've got to go.
happyandbleeding_000: It was nice talking to you.
fenwickdrummer: Later.
happyandbleeding_000: Shalom.

If you fine folks don’t mind, I’d like to take leave of my senses for just a little while and go on a rambling scrambling thought provoking twisting turning leaping thrilling spine tingling tear jerking action packed rollercoaster ride fun for the whole family tender poignant can’t miss adventuresome spoof that will put you on edge of your seat and cause me to fall from grace in the eyes of the reader narrative about some the exploits foist upon me in the year 2005.

Bet you can’t wait to read that huh?

Usually, I try to look at the so called big picture of things. I usually try and combine the element of time with a healthy dose of perspective so as not to get muddled down in the moment. Events, while they can occur in a split second, also have a way of evolving and taking on a while different meaning and certainly manage to take on a life of their own. Sure, it’s always nice to “capture the moment” but as the moment moves further and further away, it’s nice to look back and see what became of it, not of just what happened.

It’s only natural to get caught up in the moment. The camera that is your mind freezes or suspends time for just an instant or two and memories or words are captured and are placed in a sort of suspended animation. Whatever those exact words that were spoken or whatever the look on somebody’s face was and the feelings that were felt are all re-lived and seem as alive as if they just happened a moment earlier.

For me, it’s a tough call on whether that’s how to remember things or not. Distance and time changes everything.

By any stretch of my limited imagination, 2005 was a tough year for me. I attended two too many funerals and had three too many surgeries that left me at times bent and broken and bereft of any good will I might have had at the time. There were times, especially after the bills started to rolling in, that I wished that the miracle of modern medicine wasn’t available to me and that I’d been left on the operating table and that if my soul did in fact exist, it would take flight for greener pastures. I wanted to chuck it all, bury my head in the sand or run away and hide.

But then, my mind wanders away from the selfishness that is me and I think about other things like the smiles and the laughter and the pride and joy and all of the countless little things that I often take for granted everyday and somehow fail to notice.

And ya know what?

It’s good.

It’s all good.

I guess there’s an old saying in the movie business that says that the sequel is seldom or never as good as the original.

I’m hoping that next year will be an exception to that.

My boyfriend has become an uncle. Does that mean that I'm now an aunt?

Little Junah was born today at 10:30 pm. Her father is my boyfriend's brother. His parents are now grandparents. I haven't been to see the new person yet...

So far I'm sticking to the idea that as long as I'm not yet married, but only in a state of living together, this means I'm not an aunt. "Aunt Sloebertje" makes me sound ancient. It reminds me that I'm of an age that I would be perfectly capable of being not just an aunt, but a mother. That I better start thinking seriously about becoming a mother soon, or it might be too late. Junah's mother is five years younger than I am. The idea of becoming a mother scares me shitless.

Perhaps little Junah can help convince me otherwise :)

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