December 29, 2002

Another day, another surreal conversation:

I just got off the phone with my brother. He sent me email asking me to call him, so I did. Apparently he's had another of his magickal psychic visions, and he knows that there's going to be a nuclear war "in, like, three years." This is the genius who failed to predict the big snowstorm on Christmas Day, and got stuck on I-95 for a while.

He wanted to know if my husband and I would be interested in joining the colony he's going to start with some of his friends when it all goes down.

"The first thing we're gonna do, after it happens, is build geiger counters," he said.

"After?! Why don't you build 'em now?"

"Hey, that's a good idea! Thanks!"

I told him I had decided a long time ago that I would like to be at Ground Zero in the event of a nuclear war. The conversation fizzled out shortly after that, and I'm sure we each hung up thinking the other was crazy.

Today I worked an eleven-hour shift at Chili's with a skull-crushing, intestine-wrenching hangover. Actually, more than painful, this particular hangover mostly left me feeling like How to Disappear Completely.

you know,
I'm not here...
This isn't happening...

Anyway, the day was pretty rough for most of the day. Today was a long day for a day. I did at one point spend several minutes on a smoke break, mostly thinking about when I did gymnastics as a kid, and my coach was like a god to me. He was a really cool guy. Yep.

Cut to something that actually happened yesterday morning, but it really could've taken place any day, so I'm putting it in here for simplicity...

My parents woke me at around noon, and announced that we were going to a mexican restaurant down the road for "lunch" (breakfast for my sister and me). This was fine by me. I can eat chimichangas any time of day. But we left immediately, and I had no time for my wake-up cigarette, so I had it when we got to the restaurant. Delaware (yes, I live there. yes, it is kinda lame) has banned smoking in public places, so there I was, practically lying on the bench in front of the restaurant, having only been awake for fifteen minutes, looking totally strung-out and smoking a square. (tense shift here) Some lady stops and asks if she can help me. I tell her I'm just smoking and that I'll be joining my family inside for lunch when I'm done. She actually laughs out loud. I sort of picture myself in my head and realize that I can understand what she's laughing about. I don't look like I even have a family, much less one that goes out for lunch.

Ah, to be twenty-one and living with my parents...

I'm amazingly stoned right now, and in about 20 minutes, I'll be rather blotto as well.

Why, you ask? I found out tonight from my best friend that my girlfriend will be breaking up with me tomorrow.

Background info.
We've been going out for a while now, and have consumated our relationship. We've also told each other that we love each other. Now, a few days ago we were at A&B sound hanging around with her best friend. Some guy comes up to me, starts saying I was threatening him in my car. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, or even who he is. He then proceeds to punch me in the head and continue egging me on. I got my cellphone and called the cops, and he wandered off, and then I, rather angrily, told my girlfriend that we were leaving, and we left. The next day my girlfriend was all depressed, I asked her what was wrong, and she eventually said that for the first time in a relationship she didn't feel safe. We got into a fight. The next day she seemed fine, although a little aprehensive to touch and so forth. Today, I was talking to my friend Mike, who's been hanging around at her place now and again (they're kindof friends). He tells me that she's planning on breaking up with me tomorrow.

What I don't get is why she told me she loved me, when she would dump me over something so stupid?

Tomorrow, when she does it, I'm going to calmly say something to the effect of "well, now I guess I know how much saying 'I love you' means to you. In either case, there'll always be a place for you in my heart, and if you ever want to talk, you have my number. never forget I loved you. goodbye, and may you have much luck in all your future endeavors."

I had one of the most relaxing holidays at home in a long time. The whole family was there plus extended family. My nephew Tobias is such a neat little kid. Smart, polite, fun, and loves Bob the Builder. Now that song is stuck in my head... Bob the Builder! (...YES WE CAN!).

I got everything I asked for, but what was neater to me was that I was able to give my brother (whose name I drew) stuff he really needed.

We had a lot of fun playing monopoly and scrabble. I got clobbered in monopoly, but won three times in scrabble, once with the word tepidity, using all of my letters.

What is to come of the next year? Time will tell. I hope (I bet like many) to take advantage of my health club membership, read a lot of books, and work less.

Today was nice!

I got quite a bit of necessary work done, including the planning for my moogle costume, which I plan to wear at the 2003 Ohayocon in January. After driving all over the planet looking for some shaggy white fur for the costume, I arrived back at my house in dismay. Then, like a ray of sunshine, a Southern angel offers to buy some at her fabric store, and overnight it to me. Blessed be the generous of heart.

So, yes, I am on my way to becoming a moogle! Make sure you say hi to me if any of you fabulous E2ers are going to be at the convention.

I have one week left in my winter vacation, and then it's back to the grind of an engineering cirriculum. This semester should be rather educational, and likely a lot of fun. I only have 18 credits scheduled, but they are said to be rather challenging classes (though, when are they said not to be?). The upside to not overloading again is that I managed to work my schedule such that I won't have class on Friday all semester. This is definitely a bonus. An extra day to work, relax, or read my precious books. Incidentally, I will be through with my undergraduate work in a year. Fantastic. I'm highly skeptical of whether I am going to pick up a second major, mostly because I don't know if I can handle school anymore. I have very strong inclinations on becoming a writer after graduation - and maybe do some graduate school. We shall see.

At any rate, this week is totally busy for me! First and foremost, I must play some Age of Empires II with Sui. Through the week I will be constructing my costume, building a loft for my apartment, doing last minute shopping for the semester, and generally taking care of much needed business. But, I enjoy being busy, so it should be a good week.

Oh, wow, I might go to Kentucky tomorrow. I better get some sleep. Bye-Q.